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Inverse Traditionality
Posted by News Fetcher on December 04 '12 at 11:15 PM
From Penny Arcade:


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The Flexon
Posted by News Fetcher on December 02 '12 at 11:15 PM
From Penny Arcade:


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Mindcraft
Posted by News Fetcher on November 30 '12 at 10:45 AM
By Tycho from Penny Arcade:
We used to have a private Minecraft server, but maintaining one of those and hosting a curated selection of that community’s prodigious mod output can take as much time as you let it, and I think that ultimately we decided that it was a “time eating machine what eated up our time.” So Gabriel the Younger started connecting to public servers, which marks the crossing of so many thresholds at once that it’s the sort of moment you collect for posterity.
Gabriel the Elder was quick to tell him that the language he sees on there wasn’t fit for common use, but the young man spun that as a plus; now he would know what words not to say, which is a very interesting sales pitch.
We knew that “online rules” were something we wanted to do for the comic, but the strip as you see it very nearly didn’t happen. I wrote it out this way, but was afraid to tell him what I had written because it’s a little… close, so I asked him if he had his phone because then I could send it to him and I wouldn’t have to read it aloud. He didn’t. At the same time, he had come up with something very similar, but only got halfway through the idea before he said it was dumb, but I made him tell me just in case we were actually on the same page. We’ve been making stuff for almost twenty years now, and this thing almost didn’t happen because we were each, independently, afraid to be honest. There is no doubt a lesson in all this but I refuse to learn it.
< article continued at Penny Arcade >

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Merch Update
Posted by News Fetcher on November 30 '12 at 10:15 AM
By Gabe from Penny Arcade:
We have almost reached December so we should probably talk about shipping deadlines. If you want to get stuff from the PA store as gifts and you want them to show up before Christmas, here’s what you need to know.

Holiday Shipping Deadlines:

For delivery before Christmas, make sure you place your order by midnight on these shipping deadlines:

US Domestic:

First-Class and Parcel Post - December 11th

UPS Ground - December 14th

Priority Mail - December 18th

UPS 2nd Day Air - December 20th

International:

First-Class - December 2nd

Priority Mail - December 7th

Express Mail - December 11th

Also, some new hoodies done got added. The horseshoe assassin symbol was my idea.

Assassin’s Steed Zip-Up Hoodie


< article continued at Penny Arcade >

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Mindcraft
Posted by News Fetcher on November 29 '12 at 11:15 PM
From Penny Arcade:


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World of Warcraft
Posted by News Fetcher on November 28 '12 at 11:00 AM
By Gabe from Penny Arcade:
Kara and I always get the itch to play WOW around Christmas time. There is something about setting the laptops up in the living room, and playing WOW by the light of the Christmas tree that just feels really good. It’s like one of our Holiday traditions.

We’ve gotten a lot of comic strips out of WOW over the years and I decided to go back and pull out some of my favorites.

One Night In Azeroth

Herbs And Spices

And Lo

A Matter Of Life And Death

A Being Of Indescribable Power

Internalize This Deep Wisdom

Yarnmaster Graal, High Knitter Of Ogrimmar

Absolute Power

The Further Adventures Of GM Gabriel

Just When I Get Out

The Once And Future Dumbass

Essential Learnings

WoW Patch Notes 1.9

Eldritch Erotica

I Hope You Like Text

The Unmistakable Scent

Imprecision (As It Relates To Erotica)

Stark Comparisons

The Ungift, Part One

< article continued at Penny Arcade >

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New Lang Syne
Posted by News Fetcher on November 27 '12 at 11:15 PM
From Penny Arcade:


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Holiday Merch
Posted by News Fetcher on November 26 '12 at 11:45 AM
By Gabe from Penny Arcade:
If you are hungry for holiday deals but you don’t want to die at a Walmart, might I suggest the Penny Arcade store? We have kicked things up a notch this year and I’m sure you’ll find something for yourself or that special nerd in your life.

Before we go into the new stuff let me tell you about our reward levels. We have two reward levels. depending on the level you will get a different reward.

Rewards and Levels:

If you spend $30 or more, you get a free Penny Arcade Greeting Card, based on the middle panel to this comic.

If you spend $60 or more, you get a free 11x18 cardstock print of our Keep Calm Respawn Image (Random Color will be chosen, Red or Green)


< article continued at Penny Arcade >

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From Hell To Breakfast
Posted by News Fetcher on November 25 '12 at 11:15 PM
From Penny Arcade:


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Holiday Merch
Posted by News Fetcher on November 23 '12 at 12:15 PM
By Gabe from Penny Arcade:
If you are hungry for holiday deals but you don’t want to die at a Walmart, might I suggest the Penny Arcade store? We have kicked things up a notch this year and I’m sure you’ll find something for yourself or that special nerd in your life.

Before we go into the new stuff let me tell you about our reward levels. We have two reward levels. depending on the level you will get a different reward.

Rewards and Levels:

If you spend $30 or more, you get a free Penny Arcade Greeting Card, based on the middle panel to this comic.

If you spend $60 or more, you get a free 11x18 cardstock print of our Keep Calm Respawn Image (Random Color will be chosen, Red or Green)


< article continued at Penny Arcade >

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There Can Be Only Ten
Posted by News Fetcher on November 23 '12 at 10:45 AM
By Tycho from Penny Arcade:
Comics about shopping seemed appropriate.
I have never once braved a Black Friday, and I don’t know how; it has expanded to such terrifying proportions, metastasized. That’s not really the name you give to something good. As soon as I could buy things from my computer, though, that’s what I did. It’s hard to remember now, but there was a slice of time online, back when people used terms like “online” with regularity because people had no perpetually connected pocket-scale computers, where people were hesitant to purchase things online. I know! I know. Now people order frozen steaks from an iPod Touch while they shit. I don’t know if that’s gross or an act of supreme conceptually-linked efficiency.
Erika called the Target downtown because she had heard what we did; that they had huge piles of Deluxe Wii U systems. Like, a ridiculous number. She asked if he thought they’d have any by the time she got there, but they had forty-seven, putting them squarely in crenellation territory. I don’t understand entirely how our maximum throughput consumption culture allows concentrations like this to occur, but its occurring here to point where the Wii U is so concentrated they have begun to fall out of solution.

I considered availing myself of the device, but “Screen Time” is so rigorously controlled at my house that trying new things with that precious resource is often contraindicated. They put their time into proven “veins” of amusement. If playing the Wii U meant that they would have less time in Minecraft: Pocket Edition, fuck it. If the Wii U could import their crazy dungeon-spire-bunker-restaurant with the downstairs pool, then, you know… maybe.
Maybe.

(CW)TB out.
<a>proletariat, bourgeoisie</a>

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There Can Be Only Ten
Posted by News Fetcher on November 22 '12 at 11:15 PM
From Penny Arcade:


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Child’s Play Dinner Tickets Runnin’ Low
Posted by News Fetcher on November 21 '12 at 03:00 PM
By Tycho from Penny Arcade:
We’ve got about fifty tickets left for the December 6 event, which has been consistently enjoyable. If you are considering attending, it’s something you might wanna lock down soon.

(CW)TB

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First
Posted by News Fetcher on November 21 '12 at 11:00 AM
By Tycho from Penny Arcade:
Gabriel’s elaborate oral history of the Wii U line caused us to reflect on whether lines are inventions or inherent in the human animal. Well, not really. But the things he was telling me were correlated with the strange cultures that form in all queues of people, no doubt everywhere in the world. They adopt their own ways. They vary in strength, but when you put people who don’t know each other together and pack them tight you’re fucking around with ancient magic.

By the time their line had filed into the store, they were in the domain of people who deeply resented being there in the middle of the night to sell toys to jerks who could not wait until morning. It’s a position I understand in absolute terms. I might say “cultural artifact” instead of toy, and I might talk about structured play in a historical context, but I’d just be keeping them at work longer. That’s not something anybody wants to do. I mean, they don’t get a Wii U. There is no unboxing ritual when they get home. Their body is the box and what is inside the box is fear and rage.
But yes, once they got in, they were told that the line positions they had so enthusiastically internalized meant nothing, and would not be taken into account. They worked it out ultimately, but I find that kind of thing interesting. We feel those hierarchies - even hierarchies we just made up! - way, way down.
< article continued at Penny Arcade >

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First
Posted by News Fetcher on November 20 '12 at 11:15 PM
From Penny Arcade:


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Child’s Play
Posted by News Fetcher on November 19 '12 at 02:15 PM
By Tycho from Penny Arcade:
It’s open and going well bonkers. People have found it, and are putting Erika’s exquisite Hospital Map to work. Jamie’s maintaining the Official Events Calendar as well, if you’re looking for other ways to get involved. Desert Bus For Hope, now a storied tradition, is currently underway. In fourteen hours they (and you, because that’s how it works) raised thirty-two thousand dollars, which is also known as 128 consoles or 533 games. Since then, that number has biggened considerably.

(CW)TB

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Wii U
Posted by News Fetcher on November 19 '12 at 11:15 AM
By Gabe from Penny Arcade:
I was able to get a Wii U this weekend after spending five hours in line at a local Fred Meyer. I had not camped out for a console since the PS2 and I have to admit even though it was cold and rainy, I had a great time. I spent most of the day yesterday playing the shit out of it with my family and we had a blast. Ben has posted a lot of great Wii U coverage over on the PAR but I wanted to give you a quick rundown of my impressions after the first day.

It was easy to set up but the day one patches are a pain in the ass. There is a big one for the console that took over an hour and every game I put in has a patch process that takes anywhere between 10 and 30 minutes. Overall it feels sluggish and It’s slow to load games and apps. The menus don’t always make a lot of sense and even after a full day I don’t understand their online offerings like Miiverse or how exactly “friends” work.

The most important thing to me though are the games, and the games are awesome.

Nintendo Land

This was a massive hit at my house. My wife Kara and our son Gabe (who is 8) played this all afternoon. Luigi’s Mansion is the stand out hit but all the games are fun. Towards dinner time Kara actually said we needed to figure out a way to get food that didn’t involve us stopping Nintendo Land.

< article continued at Penny Arcade >

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Phi Sigma Sigma
Posted by News Fetcher on November 19 '12 at 10:15 AM
By Gabe from Penny Arcade:
Today’s comic is “ripped from my inbox”. I received a note last week from the Phi Sigma Sigma sorority informing me that this thread on the PA forums contained some of their secret shit. Here is a snippet:

I am legal counsel to the board of directors of Phi Sigma Sigma, Inc. Phi Sigma Sigma was

founded on November 26, 1913, and today maintains over 100 active collegiate chapters

throughout the United States and Canada. This letter constitutes notification of claims of

intellectual property infringement and violation of Digital Millennium Copyright Act, 17 U.S.C.

Section 512 (the “DMCA”).

Phi Sigma Sigma is the owner of certain trade secrets including, but not limited to, certain rituals

conducted by members of Phi Sigma Sigma (collectively, the “Trade Secrets”). These Trade

Secrets constitute confidential and proprietary information of Phi Sigma Sigma.


So yeah somebody posted their secret handshake, their fancy knock and the color of robes they wear when they smack each other on the ass and drink Jagermeister.

My guess is since they told me it had to be removed:

We ask that you expeditiously respond to this notice by immediately removing or disabling

access to this infringing material including, but not limited to, removing the entire posting and all

replies. Please promptly confirm any action that you take within ten (10) business days of receipt

of this letter.


It’s probably all true. Someone on Twitter commented that getting secrets off the internet is like getting piss out of a pool. It seems to me like they could have just changed their handshake and gotten a new knock.

Tycho asked me why I didn’t just remove it for them. I said I didn’t like being told to do something by a lawyer. He asked if I’d have done it had they simply asked nicely.

no probably not.

-Gabe out

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High Obscuro
Posted by News Fetcher on November 19 '12 at 09:00 AM
From Penny Arcade:


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The Manifold
Posted by News Fetcher on November 16 '12 at 11:00 AM
By Tycho from Penny Arcade:
Erika actually gives a shit about her health, which is just… incredibly novel. She actively tries to do physically difficult things on purpose, and not just, like, trying to ride your bike home even though you shouldn’t because you are as drunk as you have ever been.
She has said that she would cut off her own arm the moment a Nike cyberlimb became available, so when a copy of Nike+ Kinect Training showed up at the office, instead of throwing it into the hallway like I usually do with tribute that displeases me I put it on her desk. She came back with a review of the product that bordered on the fanatical seed of a new religion, and it wasn’t but a couple days until I saw a Fuelband on Gabriel’s wrist and heard about Kara’s second-hand.
As a Christmas Present a couple years ago, Robert got me “personal training,” which I felt weird about initially, and continued to feel weird about as I lifted heavy things and was verbally abused for my sloth, but then it started to be kind of interesting. Also, it allowed me to gnaw on a smoked haunch with somewhat less shame than usual. Everyone has a different fitness goal, I guess; mine is to get no worse.
At the end of the writing on Precipice 3, I couldn’t make time for it anymore. It sort of fell out of my life, and to my detriment; it turns out that if I don’t rhythmically shamble my husk on occasion I’m an even bigger asshole than usual. Gigantic, even. An asshole that can be seen from space. People have different bodies, and mine apparently resents simply being a container for my brain.
< article continued at Penny Arcade >

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