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New PATV
Posted by News Fetcher on December 23 '11 at 12:45 PM
By Gabe from Penny Arcade:
This week, on a very special Penny Arcade TV…

Episode six of my life is online now. Recently it’s been wedding central around this place. This latest episode attempts to document the ridiculous amount of love getting proclaimed up in this joint.



-Gabe out

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The Maestro
Posted by News Fetcher on December 22 '11 at 11:15 PM
By Tycho from Penny Arcade:
I wore the only sweats I had one day, ancient sweats, because I had to go to the gym and be debased by a man I’m ostensibly paying to improve me. Their coating of wholly undefined materials in the “cream” color spectrum brought me no end of abuse at work, which lead to today’s strip. It’s here, and that’s how we’re kicking off…



It’s like Shark Week on the Discovery Channel, but with one key difference.
I played through the whole of Assassin’s Creed: Revelations on a debug kit, though I understand it was the final version. Having consumed the campaign in its entirety, I didn’t know if I was going to purchase the retail game even though I loved the multi last time around. This was until Kiko - our group’s other Scout - applied only the slightest pressure.
If you weren’t already aware, the multiplayer in Assassin’s Creed is very much like the single player game in terms of its traversal stuff, it’s meandering throngs, and its ubiquitous hay bales. Except instead of unravelling a multimillenial plot, you’re skulking around trying to get one kill at a time while trying to look increeeeeedibly noooooormal.
< article continued at Penny Arcade >

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The Maestro
Posted by News Fetcher on December 22 '11 at 11:15 PM
From Penny Arcade:


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Inevitability
Posted by News Fetcher on December 21 '11 at 11:15 AM
By Tycho from Penny Arcade:
The TRIUMPHANT RETURN! etc.

I played plenty of Star Wars: The Old Republic during the beta, with entry points at various versions, enough to say that it was entirely possible that they had done something cool. This is why I rarely play betas anymore: this “possibly cool” scenario. It’s the rule. Every earthly force conspires to devolve the “possibly cool” into the “Man, woudn’t that have been something.”
Let’s speak to the strip, though: the third panel in particular. There might have been a time where going Free To Play would be considered a dark portent, like merging servers. Independent of the purely inauspicious, there might have been a time where the model itself was a rough-hewn indicator of quality. Right? It says “we have made a game that no right thinking person would purchase.” Doesn’t it? Except, in practice, that’s not what happens.
This is a very old story, much older than the consumer Internet. It’s all very well to have a revolution in the distribution of information, but if all the old pylons and megaliths are in place, if all the ancient obeisances must be made to the nine Dark Princes, and if every waystone requires a discrete offering you haven’t accomplished much. You’ve ported scarcity. Something weird happens when you let people have things, when you allow those conduits to move. This site is a good example.
< article continued at Penny Arcade >

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SW:TOR
Posted by News Fetcher on December 21 '11 at 10:45 AM
By Gabe from Penny Arcade:
I quit playing the Star Wars Beta months ago because I didn’t want to spoil he game for myself. I think that statement alone says a lot about the sort of MMO Star Wars is. Now that the game has launched Kara and I have jumped back in and we’re having a great time. We have not experienced any of the long queue times or crazy lag that so many people seem to be complaining about. I understand that there are plenty of people having technical issues with the game but I can’t speak to that.

I’m playing a different class than I did in the beta and so I’m getting a brand new experience. I’m just amazed at the quality of the class specific story-lines. The mission objectives and dialog choices really help you develop a character and not just an avatar. I mentioned this when I talked about the Beta a while ago and to me it really is the defining difference between SW:TOR and other MMO’s. While playing last night with Scott he explained that his bounty hunter was all about completing her contracts and getting credits. She didn’t let her feelings get in the way of the job. He was thinking about this before his character was even level 10. I’d be very surprised if he had any idea what sort of “person” his Troll Shaman was in WOW.

Kara is playing a Sith Inquisitor. A couple nights ago she was complaining that being bad was difficult and she was struggling with some of the dialog options. Last night she was volunteering to help torture people and was actually pissed when we accidentally gained light side points. Bioware has always done an incredible job of putting you in your character’s shoes and making you care about them. The fact that they have managed to transfer that into the MMO space is a fucking triumph in my opinion.

-Gabe out

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Inevitability
Posted by News Fetcher on December 20 '11 at 11:15 PM
From Penny Arcade:


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It Ain’t Even About The Christ-Lord
Posted by News Fetcher on December 19 '11 at 03:00 PM
By Tycho from Penny Arcade:
These people care catching whatever you have and they are getting SICK. You are catalyzing the end Goddamn times!

(CW)TB

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How can you be offended?
Posted by News Fetcher on December 19 '11 at 02:45 PM
By Gabe from Penny Arcade:
you don’t even love Jesus!

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:(
Posted by News Fetcher on December 19 '11 at 02:45 PM
By Tycho from Penny Arcade:
THAT IS ALL.

(CW)TB

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Dickerdoodles 2011
Posted by News Fetcher on December 19 '11 at 02:45 PM
By Gabe from Penny Arcade:
Looking over these Dickerdoodle submissions I have to say that you guys are some of the most offensive monsters I have ever seen. I love this kind of stuff but I am constantly amazed at how many of you share my love of the “wrong”. You’re like my own perverted version of Dumbledore’s army.

Today I found this gem and I had to share it early. I actually gasped when I saw it. Tycho came over and scolded me. He pointed at my monitor and yelled “You did this! You are responsible!”



This submission comes from Girls are Geeks. I have to say I am especially impressed with the camel whose humps appear to be testicles.

The contest isn’t over until Wedensday but I wanted to let you all know that everyone seems to have upped their game this year. I’m seeing some truly horrible things. I guess you could say that the competition this year is…stiff.

Like an erection.

Penis joke.

-Gabe out

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Deadlines
Posted by News Fetcher on December 19 '11 at 11:15 AM
By Gabe from Penny Arcade:
Tonight at midnight is the deadline for the free-upgrade promo going on in our store. If you live inside the US and choose parcel post or first class as your shipping option between right now and midnight tonight, we’ll upgrade you to priority mail for free and it will get to you before Christmas.

Also a reminder that this coming Wednesday is the last day to get your Dickerdoodle submissions in. Already my mail box is filling up with some pretty vile acts of sugary depravity. Check out my original post here for all the details on the contest.



I am back from my week at the Aulani resort on Oahu. Thanks so much to all the guest artists who stepped up and gave me a much needed vacation. The Aulani resort is really incredible, especially if you have kids. It has all the charm and polish you expect from a Disney experience combined with the natural beauty of Hawaii. My family and I had an amazing time. I mentioned this in a tweet when we first arrived but I wanted to say it here as well. This trip really made me think about what PA has meant for me and my family. Thank you guys for letting me do this.

-Gabe out

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Blurb
Posted by News Fetcher on December 19 '11 at 10:00 AM
By Tycho from Penny Arcade:
Today’s strip comes to us by way of Chuck Wojtkiewicz of Blur Studio, which is one of the most “hidden in plain sight” entities in existence. Any incredible game trailer you could care to name was probably done at Blur Studio, including that incredible Star Wars: The Old Republic one that launched a thousand pre-orders. They’re game trailers that could make you believe in Star Wars again, which is something of a feat at this late hour.
Thanks for everything.
Halfbrick regularly sports a sleek, compact booth at PAX, and I keep thinking I need to go over there and talk to them. Fruit Ninja was one of the first games my son really got into, and by Got Into I mean internalized it in a life altering way. I won’t lie; there was a lot of slashing. He was slashing it up for awhile. It got into everything.
Kids don’t understand concepts like “Intellectual Property,” let alone “Copyright Infringement.” What we think of as the domain of elseworlds, what-if fanfiction heresy is their normal mode of operation: all of their toys (or ideas) can play with each other, there’s no rule that says they can’t, and if there were such a rule it would be a stupid rule. They’re natural iconoclasts, and it’s really cool until they get around to your icons.

< article continued at Penny Arcade >

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Blurb
Posted by News Fetcher on December 19 '11 at 09:00 AM
From Penny Arcade:


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Cryptozoology
Posted by News Fetcher on December 16 '11 at 10:15 AM
By Tycho from Penny Arcade:
The second of three Industrial offerings summoned by my cohort had arrived, this time from Cryptozoic. If you aren’t already familiar with them, either via their incredible World of Warcraft TCG or Food Fight or their deckbuilding take on Penny Arcade, you’ll probably come around for their Walking Dead shit or their (ahem) “EPIC SPELL WARS OF THE BATTLE WIZARDS: DUEL AT MT. SKULLZFYRE.”

And now, they’ve offered up today’s strip. We’ve got something coming up with them that’s fittin’ to flip your wig. I’m not sure when it will be announced. I’d start wearing your wig upside down, just in case. I also have a Director’s Cut of the comic that is fully three times as long. Do you want it? Huh, huh? Well, do ya?
Monday nights are about to switch back to role-playing, as our recent series The Conflux attempts to chronicle. but I’ll be very sad to see the current model go, which has taken the form of a miniatures tournament.
< article continued at Penny Arcade >

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Cryptozoology
Posted by News Fetcher on December 15 '11 at 11:15 PM
From Penny Arcade:


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Two Store Things!!!
Posted by News Fetcher on December 15 '11 at 12:45 PM
By Tycho from Penny Arcade:
1. Today is the last day for free shipping. The last day, God damn you!

2. After being out of stock for a year and a half, Reversible Merch/Fleshreaper Hats iz back.

(CW)TB

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Scalzification
Posted by News Fetcher on December 13 '11 at 11:15 PM
From Penny Arcade:


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Usurpers, Plural
Posted by News Fetcher on December 12 '11 at 11:15 AM
By Tycho from Penny Arcade:
It’s true. Gabriel has ensconced his family in flying steel and launched himself toward warmer climes, and he has left the rudder in my capable grip. In reality, a series of guest works from a rotating cast of professionals was his own idea. The conversation, though, is quite true. I don’t know to what extent he is joking, I suspect it is at a threshold nearing a hundred percent, even though what I do here is essentially a condiment for his own work. My own son looks at me askance when I tell him writing is art, at which point his uncle Gabriel does his emperor laugh and swirls his cape.
I don’t think I’ve ever read a definition for art that wasn’t stupid. Generally speaking, when a person constructs a thought-machine of this kind, what they’re actually trying to do is determine what isn’t art. I have always been white trash, and will never cease to be so; what that means is that I was raised with an inherent distrust in the Hoity and a base and brutal urge to dismantle the Toity. This is sometimes termed anti-intellectualism, usually by intellectuals, when what it is in truth is an opposition to intellect for intellect’s sake. The reality is that what “is” and “isn’t art” is something we can determine with a slider in our prefrontal cortex.
If this thought-machine had any purpose other than to create a world with less art, I could cut it some slack. But it doesn’t. It’s entire purpose is to rarify art, controlling expression thereby. The aperture must be cinched, and quickly, before someone creates a cultural product without elite imprimatur. Its effete and its fucking disgusting.
Gabriel should leave more often, I’m having a fucking blast. I’m gonna spend the entire week on a kind of trachea tour, like a mad wolf, just howlin’ and biting out throats.
< article continued at Penny Arcade >

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Usurpers, Plural
Posted by News Fetcher on December 11 '11 at 11:15 PM
From Penny Arcade:


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Ultimate Battle Lizard
Posted by News Fetcher on December 08 '11 at 11:15 PM
From Penny Arcade:


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