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Comic - The New Kids
Posted by News Fetcher on May 31 '15 at 11:15 PM
From Penny Arcade:


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News - Spice Girl
Posted by News Fetcher on May 29 '15 at 09:45 AM
By Tycho from Penny Arcade:
The first part of the strip is absolutely true: his haircut man was not available. It’s a continuum of human experience I’m not connected to in any way. I “cut my hair” the way a druid gathers mistletoe: under a full moon, with a scythe.

Upon learning that he would be granted an audience with the Master Barber, the pun shone brightly in his mind. Master Barber is an actual term I was not previously aware of, but what it means is dependent on where you are. Occasionally a class quest is required. In Lancashire, becoming a Master Barber requires one to “sheere the crown-hare of A Mother Gryphyn,” which is why Lancashire hasn’t had a Master Barber since 1465. Anyway: when Gabriel perceives that he has “material” of this kind, he is masterful at steering conversations toward his payload, except this time he had to do everything in how power to avoid it.

It’s like when you’re learning to drive a car, or ride a bike even. If you are looking at something, a terrible force draws you toward it until you are destroyed. If you have social anxiety, which I am told that some do have, you’re always worried that your secret thoughts will be made known to others by some betrayal of their own traitorous mouth. I suggested that the danger was probably minimal, because as a Master Barber they probably hear this shit all day, every day; that nobody hasn’t thought of it. He scoffed! He is known to. He was voted most likely to scoff. He got out unscathed, though, and to his mind, substantially improved - particularly in the hair region. He even gestured at his hair, as if to say, “look at this hair.” It looked like hair to me.
< article continued at Penny Arcade >

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Comic - Spice Girl
Posted by News Fetcher on May 28 '15 at 11:15 PM
From Penny Arcade:


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News - Observer Effect
Posted by News Fetcher on May 27 '15 at 11:15 AM
By Tycho from Penny Arcade:
I was lucky with my own bandmates, actually; I was always the least reliable, least talented member, so disappointment tended to flow reliably in the opposite direction. I only played guitar at a couple shows, ever. I mostly just brought a microphone, or put in someone’s bag at practice so it would arrive without effort on my part, then hit the bar before the show to down a Snake Bite to sand the edge of my nerves. Then I’d hand a drink and a blank cassette to the guy at the board, and after the show I would listen to the tape on the way home, and make a thorough accounting of my failures.

The strip is really about the RPG format they adopted for Rock Band 4’s campaign. That’s very, very distinct from the new Guitar Hero, with its focus on live video performance and playing along with music videos. I think there are going to be players for both of these. In the old days, there was no daylight between the two experiences really. They have to offer something different in order to coexist. Hopefully that’s happening this time…?

< article continued at Penny Arcade >

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Comic - Observer Effect
Posted by News Fetcher on May 26 '15 at 11:15 PM
From Penny Arcade:


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News - Child’s Play Golf Tournament Tickets!
Posted by News Fetcher on May 26 '15 at 02:45 PM
By Tycho from Penny Arcade:
They are available! I am by no means a golf expert; I come mostly for the buffet and the intensely shared fellow-feeling. For your calendar:

Date: Friday, July 17th 2015

Time: Golf Registration 9:00AM - 10:00AM, Mini-Golf Registration 12:30PM-1:15PM, Mixer 4:00PM

Location: Willows Run Golf Course, 10402 Willows Rd, Redmond, WA 98052

I’ve been to all of them, and it would be a fun way to spend your time even the absence of its profound charitable payload.

(CW)TB

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News - Monday Sketchdump!
Posted by News Fetcher on May 25 '15 at 12:15 PM
By Gabe from Penny Arcade:
Last week I attended a special “Art Night” at my kid’s school. I ended up spending the evening drawing with elementary school kids and had a great time. Here’s some of my doodles:




< article continued at Penny Arcade >

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News - Cardophilia
Posted by News Fetcher on May 25 '15 at 10:45 AM
By Tycho from Penny Arcade:
So, last time, I was worried that between Destiny’s immediacy and my belief that there was some mystically optimal condition under which to play The Witcher, it would end up sort of like my Steam library, in a list more akin to a list of achievements than of time played or work considered. But that is not true. Having secured 32 Light in order to make myself marginally less worthless to my Fireteam, I had a chance over the weekend to plow through the “Witching 101” portion of The Witcher 3 and into the game proper, which isn’t an epic roleplaying game at all apparently but a card game called gwent.
I played a ton of Dice Poker in the second one, I was the Champion Dice Poker Man. It was like Yahtzee, and I like Yahztee. Weirdly, one of my favorite things about Dice Poker was how it emphasized the handcrafted physicality of the game: it was a box that people carried around with them, to play where they could. There were different backgrounds depending on where you played, like the table at an inn let’s say. Hearthstone does this, too. Gwent, the minigame equivalent in Witcher 3, doesn’t have the same verisimilitude thing going on. On the other hand, it is pretty fuckin’ rad.
The article I see most often referred to in this conversation is Vince Ingenito’s “The Witcher’s Gwent Is A Better Card Game Than Heartstone,” whose ambiguous, mushmouthed argumentation leaves the true position of the author unclear - a common problem with young writers. That said, we may triangulate from this aimless prose that the author thinks gwent is at least alright.
< article continued at Penny Arcade >

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Comic - Cardophilia
Posted by News Fetcher on May 25 '15 at 08:00 AM
From Penny Arcade:


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Throwback…Friday
Posted by News Fetcher on May 22 '15 at 09:15 AM
By Gabe from Penny Arcade:
I forgot to post my Throwback Thursday art yesterday. It was a hit last week and I intended to do it again but just spaced it. So to make up for it I’m gonna post two incredibly embarrassing pieces of artwork from my past!

I did this first comic book page back in 7th grade. I don’t remember all their names but I know the purple and yellow guy was named Volt.



This second piece was done around my senior year in high school. This was Sam and he was a teenage runaway with the exiled spirit of a disgraced angel living inside him because…high school.



Please direct all public shaming to my Twitter account.

-Gabe out

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Exile
Posted by News Fetcher on May 21 '15 at 11:15 PM
By Tycho from Penny Arcade:
Gavin came up with AirDND at lunch, and it was too good to leave on the table. Utilizing long-forgetten alchemical techniques, including those we have transmuted this notion into a comic strip.

I feel like I’m too new at Destiny to tell you anything of import about the new expansion; I’ve had a few lucky Crota drops, that’s the extent of my career as a Guardian. I’m the inheritor of all the creature comforts and improvements you and Gabriel had to suffer through, I never knew the worst of it. I know that when the game first came out, if you died while in a Darkness Zone not only did you have to restart from the checkpoint, you were also forced to order off the kid’s menu. It’s terrifying stuff.
No, all I have now is that relentless, smooth loop, of which the Prison of Elders is a good example - and between the novel loot structure and the round modifiers it’s filling a very specific role in the experience. I keep trying to sell my compatriots on Trials of Osiris, but they’re not super into the PVP, which I kind of get. I’m not super into the PVP either. But I am into gambling.
< article continued at Penny Arcade >

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Exile
Posted by News Fetcher on May 21 '15 at 11:15 PM
From Penny Arcade:


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PAX Q&A Question Sumbissionz
Posted by News Fetcher on May 20 '15 at 01:45 PM
By Tycho from Penny Arcade:
Ask us questions, anything you want, completely asymmetrically! This is the new ritual for the Q&A panels, and it has made them diamond-dense with premium info. Drop a Q in there, and we will deliver an A several months hence.

(CW)TB

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Divergence
Posted by News Fetcher on May 20 '15 at 10:31 AM
By Tycho from Penny Arcade:
The strip is hyperbole, I mostly felt like the perspective needed to be made available. I find the show very hard to watch right now, though; I guess it partly has to do with content, insofar as it’s just the weight of it. Hitting play on that show right now feels like rigging up a Sword a Damocles and then sitting directly beneath it.

There are times when I do want to feel pulverized by a work. I read 1984 annually, and the sensation is that of two granite blocks being brought into proximity with one another until I am destroyed. I don’t really feel like it right now, I guess? By the time I sit down at night, I would prefer to be submerged in marshmallow cream. Metaphorically. My construction is such that I’ll long for the lash before long, certainly. But right now I’m on kind of a lash break.
The increasing daylight between the versions of Game of Thrones, which we might call Games of Throne, was always going to create trubs. Peter Jackson knows all about it. In 2015, treating the creator of a work as though they are a person of any import to the work, or that their intentions even matter, is outre - indeed, it hasn’t been cool for nearly a hundred years. The optimal way to experience work is to be exposed to it, like a pathogen, and then to writhe, thoroughly asphyxiated. But if you were curious for some reason what George R. R. Martin thinks about his work being forked, perhaps because you’re a hopeless reprobate, he has spoken on the matter with clarity. Particularly interesting is the idea that both stories end the same, even if they run solo for awhile. Huh.
< article continued at Penny Arcade >

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Divergence
Posted by News Fetcher on May 19 '15 at 11:15 PM
From Penny Arcade:


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Excavation
Posted by News Fetcher on May 18 '15 at 11:00 AM
By Tycho from Penny Arcade:
I talked about it on an upcoming podcast, but I absolutely did wholly extemporaneous open poetry readings in a Converted Church Goth Club Coffee Shop Arcade Basement. Shit’s real, kid. I was all about that stuff.

I think I might still be, with the poems. I was always a very safe kind of rebel. Even my excesses were contained within firm parentheses, and tax deductible (when possible).
I destroyed almost all of it, though, in an effort to assert that the version engaging in the destruction was the version that had primacy. I think Brenna might have some of these artifacts in a box at her parents’ house; I should see if I can get my hands on it, but we have a strong cultural prohibition on the opening of ancient, mysterious boxes.
Oh! And the first panel is also true, or true in spirit at any rate. People who use DMT refer, with startling regularity, to a single shared hallucination: that of an encounter with incredibly pissed off multidimensional snakes. These snakes are fucking mad. This isn’t something I have experience with, so I’m working second hand, but these resentful snakes don’t like it when you show up at their snake house or whatever. Apparently, they’re like “WHY ARE YOU HERE” and “THIS ZONE IS DESIGNATED SNAKES ONLY.” I’ve been surprised to hear a similar shared hallucination from young men about the article continued at Penny Arcade >

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Monday Sketchdump!
Posted by News Fetcher on May 18 '15 at 08:45 AM
By Gabe from Penny Arcade:
Another Monday, another look inside my sketchbook. Nothing special this week just lots of doodles.




< article continued at Penny Arcade >

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Excavation
Posted by News Fetcher on May 17 '15 at 11:15 PM
From Penny Arcade:


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Universals
Posted by News Fetcher on May 15 '15 at 10:00 AM
By Tycho from Penny Arcade:
As a generality I try not to engage in “do you know who I am” antics when it comes to trying to get free shit, I think I’ve talked about that before. Of course, sometimes “who I am” is the precise reason I can’t have something. If you ask me, I’ve been perfectly reasonable throughout my eighteen year stint - deploying precision rhetorical munitions only when absolutely necessary. It’s entirely possible that I called Epic’s Mark Rein a “Liar-King” who “scuttled out of a rotting log,” but sometimes its vital in a dialogue to suggest that your opponent is some kind of grub. It’s… you know. Aristotelian, or whatever.

You’d best believe I did everything I could to secure this Witcher shit in advance of the 19th, but it didn’t matter, because the PC version isn’t available even to reviewers yet. Everything you’ve read about it from reviews is most likely from the PS4 version, and I didn’t put a new board in my computer so I could play a console version of the game in the same way that a person doesn’t go to eight years of medical school in order to be called Mister.
So I’m pretty fucking cranked up right now. I’m fucking around in the strip, obviously - my mission is, as always, to create wholly new sentences, and I feel confident that “Real wyverns want to fuck midair in a haunted caldera” has never been seen before, nor will it be seen since. It’s simply not that useful a phrase; it doesn’t have broad application. That’s not a burrito option at Qdoba, for example.
< article continued at Penny Arcade >

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Universals
Posted by News Fetcher on May 14 '15 at 11:15 PM
From Penny Arcade:


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