By Tycho from Penny Arcade:
Tavis Maiden (this, this, this, this) is congenitally predisposed to wolf. One more on Monday to wrap up.

I think that Fallout must get better later, or something: I can’t get into it. I have never had a problem getting into a Fallout game before; I feel like the last-call, settle-for-him guy for whom “this never happens.” The whole thing is very sad. It’s trying to catalyze events by in a sort of carpe diem way, the way a raccoon might fish a greying hot dog from the trash, and nothing is working.
I had talked about how games like Borderlands or Destiny or CoD or WoW (note that three of these are from the same publisher) have trained us via operant conditioning to want, that is to say “fundamentally require,” certain types of feedback from games. In a less rigorously psychometric way, The Witcher 3 altered way down - like, Ring 0 - what I expect from missions in an open world. How I expect them to be delivered. What I expect to do when I get there. How they can and will be subverted. The moral dimension. I’m not overly concerned with presentation typically, but I think it might fucked me up on that front, too. I could enjoy more games before the stupid fucking Witcher. Now I’m Been To One Wine Tasting guy and I’m aerating pinot noir and talking conspiratorially about “hints of leather.”
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By Tycho from Penny Arcade:
So if you want to submit a panel for PAX South, this is an incredible opportunity. Individual day tickets are also available; if you want to attend the whole show, I’d make a run on them now before one of the days sells out.

(CW)TB

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By Tycho from Penny Arcade:
Tavis Maiden (who does all kinds of shit) is here with more wolfs and he is continuing to wolf.

Kiko and I have been playing Call of Duty on the Xbox One most nights, delivering results, or Kiko is delivering results and I am there to witness him. The night it came out Gabe was there, and it was legendary, just as in days of old; we hadn’t seen him on in a few nights and considered playing Zombies instead so we wouldn’t outlevel him too far. But he was playing Call of Duty, just on the Playstation 4.

Where we are not.

When I was in Scotland, I heard a certain type of Scottish dialect in Edinburgh (“Aydin-Burrah”) that was light and had no trace of the World of Warcraft dwarves in it. Even ten miles west of there, I heard accents that I couldn’t describe to you, but were clearly “Scottish.” It took every synapse firing in unison to translate what he said in real time. I had to nod a lot while the processing was occurring, in what I hoped looked something like true rapport. So there’s “English” - situated in some column of celestial light - and then there are the petitioner languages we speak, which aspire to it, but are not the thing. I would have a hard time telling you that we were speaking the same language. What I spoke was merely compatible with what the man in Ratho was saying to his dogs. And it took work. But we were able to have a conversation about boats.

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By Tycho from Penny Arcade:
If you missed this PAX Prime panel, or you want to see it, or if you are curious what kind of a game could be made in an hour, I have exactly what you need. The game designers were a kind of supergroup with a core group of “Sharks,” plus a couple other ultra-pros, but this would be a great time to remind everybody that Gabe’s “Thornwatch” game has become three games - Thornwatch, The Lookouts, And Daughters Of The Eyrewood - and we’re trusting Lone Shark Games to make them with us.

(CW)TB

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By Tycho from Penny Arcade:
Tavis Maiden (Tenko King, Binwin’s Minions, Stranger Danger, Strip Search, Probably Other Stuff) is taking a turn with The Lookouts with “The Wolf” for a few days. Let’s tune in.

So it turns out that I’m the only one of my friends over here that likes the new Halo. Call of Duty, with its orca-smooth progression and relentless shooty-shoots, has served as the lingua franca between those of us who are Halo and Destiny players. Though I’m fairly certain Gabriel just plays Destiny before we play CoD. And maybe after.

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By Tycho from Penny Arcade:
Writing comics with a not-mike - of which there are many, the Earth is lousy with them - was bizarre. I talk with a lot of people about their comics, but it’s in the manner of a Consultant, where I make pronouncements of various kinds and then make my escape shortly before any actual work needs to be done. This time I had to actually forge a connection with another human being and then try to run signal along that connection. It was… novel. I had a super good time with Kris Straub (“Krasp Strib”) plumbing the figurative depths of <a htef="https://twitter.com/krisstraub/status/660378073636802561">bat sex</a>, but the rest of the time was good too. Every second could be recommended on its own terms.

I invited Kris over to Kiko’s hotel to play a round of Pandemic Legacy, thinking it might offer up a cluster of juicy comics, and that ended up being true. It was part and parcel of my effort over the entire weekend to sell as many copies of that game as I could. I don’t want to play any more games on tables that don’t have the word “Legacy” hitched to the back like a caboose. I want Catan Legacy, Magic Legacy: The Gathering Legacy, I want Ladies And Gentlemen Legacy, and I want Warmachine Legacy.
Legacy.

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By Gabe from Penny Arcade:
Well I am still alive. Sorry Twitter. what happened?

I was having a conversation with Kiko about this just the other day. It used to be that when you were a kid you’d go to the doctor and you’d get some medicine and feel better. It seems like when you go to the doctor once you’re older they often just throw up their hands and say “beats the shit out of me.”

As best they can tell it was a combination of things. The main one being a change in prescription and dosage for one of my brain pills. I’d like to believe that delicately adjusting the levels of chemicals in a human brain is old hat by now but I guess not. I had three real rough days that I hardly remember followed by a pretty solid week of bullshit. I’m on the mend now though and feeling a little better each day. Thanks to everyone who sent me a get well soon message. It was much appreciated during the vomit spree.

While healing I had the opportunity to play some fun games. In between trips to the bathroom I managed to play Halo 5, Darksiders II Deathinitive edition, Overwatch, Destiny and the new Need for Speed. I will now present you with what I half remember fever dream reviews.

Halo 5

I actually really enjoyed the campaign although I think the ending was pretty abrupt. It’s the middle game of a trilogy though, I get it. I’d say the advertising oversold the “hunting the MC” angle but it was still fun.

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By Tycho from Penny Arcade:
There’s been a ton of acquiring lately - and the inherent complexities lend themselves to a specialist approach. Welcome to Acquisitors, Part Six, which could well be called “The Final Acquisition” because it’s the last one. On Friday we’ll have the strip that Kris and I wrote and he drew live at the show, and then next week we’ve got Tavis Maiden - of Tenko King, Binwin’s Minions, Stranger Danger, and of course Strip Search fame - is gonna take a crack at a quick Lookouts story he’s had bangin’ around.

We’re gearing up the store to go basically fucking nuts this Christmas, tbh. We tried some stuff last year that’ll be back, and we have some new stuff to flex this time around, but I wanted to give you a heads up: if you know a deeply immoral reprobate, the sort that frequents this dark temple, Norvermber 23rd is when you can start thinking about which of our hateful artifacts you might get them for Christmas. We’ll have new stuff all week - Black Friday is a thing, and apparently we’re saying Cyber Monday now without irony, and even Thanksgiving is getting into the game.
Pin-wise, we’ve got the Gingerbread set for the holidays, and a a three pin set in collaboration with legendary artist Enfu. Double-Secret boxes make their triumphant return. It keeps going from there; we played a way cool indie boardgame once, called Pushfight:



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By Tycho from Penny Arcade:
These motherfuckers just keep acquiring shit! It’s Acquisitors, Part Five.

In the same way that Bruce Banner’s secret is that he’s always angry, Mike Krahulik’s secret is that he is incredibly intelligent. This is something he doesn’t like people to know, but he couldn’t do what he does if he weren’t. My family has a home because I befriended him in high school; it’s as simple as that. I found myself in his nimbus and then, barring a few poor choices on my part, everything worked out.
So doing a PAX without him was definitely strange. Not bad, at all. But strange. You have to understand, you can just be by him and succeed. If he’s not there, I have to attempt it myself. I can’t execute it at his level, but I can fashion myself into a marginal improvement over a bare stage, which I believe I succeeded in doing. Khoo was an excellent addition to the Q&A, I can see that happening again, actually - even in the absence of crisis. And I have to take a second to appreciate my friend Kris Straub, who came through in the most unbelievable way. He and I handled the final round of the Omegathon (Tetris and Dr. Mario!), the first ever Child’s Play Live Auction in Australia ($15,850!), and the Make A Strip panel which went better than it had any right to. At every turn, he rose to the challenge. We even invented a new genre of pornography at the request of a question card - “vesperotica” - a carnal cave of unfettered bat-love.
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By Tycho from Penny Arcade:
So, just as I learned last time I was here, if I go to a place that is more than ten hours past my normal schedule, I can get my work done on time. There’s a sorcerial aspect to this whole deal. Right now, PAX is starting, even though every one of my moist organs is telling me it’s Thursday. And this post will go up sort of on the second day of PAX. Don’t think about it! Fill the hole this state of affairs has made in your skull with

Acquisitors, Part Four.

Once we found “our” gaming shop here in the fabled village of Mael-Byn, whenever we weren’t doing show stuff we’ve been trying to penetrate the evil candy that is Pandemic Legacy. You are trying to cure global diseases, just like in Pandemic, and weirdly enough that’s almost all I feel comfortable saying.
The things you love about Pandemic Legacy are things you can’t say. This happens with electronical games occasionally, also, but here it’s definitional. This game, like the plagues you chase around the globe, constitutes a living thing which does not sit still. The very idea that there are spoilers for a boardgame should tell you we have moved into a strange realm. Like Risk Legacy before it, there’s something deeply lowborn and vulgar about marking up your board permanently. The pieces of a game generally reflect some higher order of reality, they are envoys of a dimension where systems hold sway, the Court of Pure Laws. Abrogating their purity like this feels debauched at first and then, like other debaucheries, quickly becomes an obsession.

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By Tycho from Penny Arcade:
I received this communique in the early hours of the morning, on an encrypted channel. Its contents are as follows.

—-
PAX Aus banner for y’all to view and plan upon.



We’ve got a fresh Limited Edition pin this year. Those will be available only at the Merch Lite booth in the Exhibition Center Foyer. There will be a limited number available each day so come early if you’d like one.

Some other highlights include: Strip Search DVDs and Blu-Rays! Fresh PAX Aus Mugs! A golden scarf! And, Brian’s personal favorite, a limited-edition alternate-color version of the classic Insert Coin hoodie. Grey on Grey!

—-

(CW)TB

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By Tycho from Penny Arcade:


Acquisitors, Part Three.

I’ve been a pretty staunch Rock Band supporter. We even did a custom guitar for the preorders; a Rock Band rig is out in Gabe’s garage set up for permanent accessibility. That’s the one I bought this time around, for Xbox, even if it cost more, just to maintain access to my precious downloaded tracks. I’m kind of a Harmonix true believer for the most part: their mission to democratize the experience of playing music is something like an ethos, rare in any context, let alone in the mercenary universe of mainstream game development.
And how is it? It’s Rock Band. There’s literally no need to review it, especially if you work there. It’s the same extensible music platform, extensible-ized (?) into the next generation. The roster is deeper than a jeep full of people. My daughter suffers, of course, because it’s been gone essentially the duration of her life, so she can only sing Uptown Funk over and over. But DLC is a going proposition now. She’ll be fine.
I’d watched a few videos of the Guitar Hero, the hated foe, enough to know that Guitar Hero TV was a huge idea, but not enough to authentically parse their highway for the inputs. I think I’d seen a pre-release version of it or something that had some temporary iconography, and I thought I understood it, then I ceased to, but it didn’t really matter because I wasn’t going to buy it anyway. I had every confidence that if I brought home a second guitar wholly incompatible with the first guitar I brought home, Brena would cock her head so hard it would snap at the base and roll off.
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By Tycho from Penny Arcade:
Behold!

Acquisitors, Part Two.

Call of Duty obliterated traditional multiplayer. They ruined it, and in a way, I resent it: it’s easy to miss their innovations whenever they are not present. People used to be fine, no, better than fine just running around picking up guns and shooting people. CoD sells tens of millions of copies now, every year, and those copies are merely the ripples that are still swimming out from Modern Warfare, when the warlocks of Infinity Ward transformed the competitive shooter into an “RPG” which had heretofore been a kind of nerd ghetto.

Then Borderlands and Destiny spliced it into the rest of the game, not merely the PVP, while scraping even more rich RPG DNA out of the genre’s skull. That’s the world 343 is trying to release a Halo game into. Call of Duty virtually defines the shooter in our popular imagination, and Destiny is literally what comes after Halo.
In the universe of Halo, after a period of time - usually described as seven years - an AI becomes “rampant,” or “goes nuts.” I know it’s more complex than that, purists, but it’ll do for now. The weight of being increases until it fundamentally “can’t even.” I’ve wondered if that’s what would happen to Halo, eventually: rolling, steadily growing in diameter, until it becomes something unlike itself. And that’s the war they’re fighting here with Halo 5, which is at least three distinct games: a cinematic, cooperative campaign based on almost twenty years of backstory, one multiplayer experience laser focused on traditional arenas and pure competition, and then a third modality with huge maps, a third AI faction, and 12v12 gameplay. This is Halo, rampant.
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By Tycho from Penny Arcade:
Because we are Kickstarter addicts, and our ravens see all, we caught wind of the Elder Wood Spellbook Gaming Boxes and began to covet them in earnest. We had a fantasy about them making an super fancy Acquisitions Incorporated themed one, maybe with corporate approved spell lists, equipment options from the company store, and other guidance for the franchisee. Then we remembered that Elder Wood isn’t just, like, an old forest - they’re actual people you can talk to. They wanted to do it, too. Time was tight with PAX Aus coming up, but Kiko put together a solid design and materials configuration, I wrote up all the flavor text, Toonhound Studios handled the art duties, and we were off to the races. If you want to see our official box - or any of their other rad stuff - check out the campaign, which only has eleven days left to go.

(CW)TB

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By Tycho from Penny Arcade:


Acquisitors, Part Three.

I’ve been a pretty staunch Rock Band supporter. We even did a custom guitar for the preorders; a Rock Band rig is out in Gabe’s garage set up for permanent accessibility. That’s the one I bought this time around, for Xbox, even if it cost more, just to maintain access to my precious downloaded tracks. I’m kind of a Harmonix true believer for the most part: their mission to democratize the experience of playing music is something like an ethos, rare in any context, let alone in the mercenary universe of mainstream game development.
And how is it? It’s Rock Band. There’s literally no need to review it, especially if you work there. It’s the same extensible music platform, extensible-ized (?) into the next generation. The roster is deeper than a jeep full of people. My daughter suffers, of course, because it’s been gone essentially the duration of her life, so she can only sing Uptown Funk over and over. But DLC is a going proposition now. She’ll be fine.
I’d watched a few videos of the Guitar Hero, the hated foe, enough to know that Guitar Hero TV was a huge idea, but not enough to authentically parse their highway for the inputs. I think I’d seen a pre-release version of it or something that had some temporary iconography, and I thought I understood it, then I ceased to, but it didn’t really matter because I wasn’t going to buy it anyway. I had every confidence that if I brought home a second guitar wholly incompatible with the first guitar I brought home, Brena would cock her head so hard it would snap at the base and roll off.
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By Tycho from Penny Arcade:
Because Gabe, who is also Mike, is now a 24/7 vomit fountain, we’re going to alter some of the panels. In the future, maybe we can have a panel that focuses on vomit and engages all sides of the vomit debate, though I suspect we may have to find a place that sells Purell and tarps wholesale.
- The Two Q&A Panels are now Khoo And A panels! Robert and I are going to handle them as a duo. As such, we’ve got a new Q&A form if you’d like to ask Robert questions directly, which is a pretty rare opportunity. He knows a lot of shit.
- For Saturday’s Make A Strip Panel, and Sunday’s Child’s Play Auction and Omegathon Final Round I will be accompanied by Kris Straub, he of the Chainsawsuit and the Broodhollow and the Starslip, if you’re old school. He’s a good friend, and I was always glad he was coming down for the show, but now I’m really really glad.
For signings, we’re gonna do a special print of the program cover, and have Mike presign a bunch of them. We’ll have three hundred signatures per signing ready to go, which should be able to satisfy most people? I can also do a very convincing Gabe signature if pressed! Let me know which you prefer. We’ll pass out his special pin - sometimes called a “boss pin” - to our folks, and they won’t count against your “official trades” as per the rules.
I’ll see you next week, though I may still be enduring prophetic visions as a result of my prolonged sky journey. Even that is a boon for you, though. Take this opportunity to ask me questions about your future, and I will pierce the veil of time for you free of charge.

(CW)TB

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By Gabe from Penny Arcade:
I will not be able to attend PAX Australia this year. It sucks. Now let me tell you why.

I’ve been pretty sick for the last month or so. I’ve lost about 30 pounds which would be rad, except I didn’t really have 30 pounds to lose and I lost it in a pretty unpleasant way. I’ve seen my doctor a few times and I’m taking some new medicine, but then yesterday happened.

I was driving to work and nearly there when I started to get really dizzy and started seeing double vision. It was scary but I managed to creep into the PA parking lot. As soon as I got out of my car the entire world started spinning and I began puking. I puked in the parking lot and then stumbled into the woods where I continued to puke. I made it inside and continued to throw up all the way to my office. I heaved into my garbage can and then collapsed onto the couch. It felt like everything around me was spinning and so I called my wife.

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By Tycho from Penny Arcade:
The original plan was to start running these next week, when were en route/at/leaving PAX Aus, but something came up that I’ll let him tell you about. Long story short, getting ahead on the strip turned out to be a pretty Goddamn good idea.
I’ve been saying that “this is the year of Acquisitions Incorporated” for about five years now, but this is turning out to be the actual year of it. The first part of that is the store. Operated by our friend and ally Scott Kurtz, also known as Binwin Bronzebottom, you can expect a few new things to pop up there over the year, including an awesome parody of a game screen I wrote which is game agnostic because it includes no useful information whatsoever. There’s two more things in the works that will truly inaugurate this as the Year of Acquisitions Incorporated, but I don’t want to say too much, so that the universe has a chance to crush it. Suffice it to say that if you are down with acquiring things in an incorporated way, you are about to be rewarded richly for that allegiance.
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By Tycho from Penny Arcade:
In The Taken King, you can jump into a “Strike Playlist.” For the uninitiated, it means that you strap into a kind of electronic ride where you are slotted with your team into a functionally endless string of mini-raids. This roster isn’t super deep, but there are a few different ways for them to go down so it’s mostly okay. For the players, I mean. They’re fine. They get a steady stream of forgotten, borderline mystical hats.
But what about the bosses? How do they maintain morale in such a high traffic retail scenario? Friends, it’s all about attitude.
I was going to suggest to Gabriel that Taniks the Scarred be clapping with his weird little bonus hands, but I thought, no, that’s not gonna fly probably; and then, when I got the strip, he was clapping with his fucking bonus hands! What this means to me is that if I remain perfectly motionless, I will still get everything I want. Right now, I am perfectly still except for the fingers I am wriggling to write this. Soon, I will achieve even greater stillness.

Child’s Play has, as of this second, raised $34,327,046 over its lifespan. I could refresh the official page and there is every chance that it would be more than that; I’ve refreshed it several times while writing this and it has been true at every juncture.

Child’s Play is about as focused a charity beam as it is possible to muster, particularly when using the official map: you choose something the hospital has told us they need, and it gets sent there. That’s the traditional way. We’ve branched out in recent years, in an effort to be good stewards of the resources you’ve entrusted us with, but that’s always the spine of it, for me at least: the one to one nature of that exchange.

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By Tycho from Penny Arcade:
This thing is coming up quick, which means I got to get some information out there. It’s like this:

- Friday and Sunday badges are both running low on our end. Saturday passes no longer exist! Well, they exist, but people have bought them all. You should buy Friday passes, or Sunday passes, or both if you want to come!

- We’re going to be testing something kinda weird in the main theater on Friday, around seven o’clock: it’s gonna be The Doubleclicks, Kris Straub, and the two of us for some Quiplash and Fibbage action. This could be interesting. In quotes. So you might want to watch.
- I am beyond excited to come back down there, for a couple reasons. PAX Aus, both for the PAX and the Aus. But I also got Brenna a purse at Witchery last year, and they didn’t take the security tag off of it so I’m going to bring it back with me and have it removed. You tell me: does that mean that I technically got her a gift this year, or do I need to secure a second gift? Please advise.

The official Twitter for the show is at https://twitter.com/paxaus, so following that might be a good idea if you’re hitting the show.

Okay! If I forgot something, Robert will let me know and I’ll come right back. But I think I got it!

(CW)TB

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