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I Am Generating 16,321,332.2 Cookies Per Second
Posted by News Fetcher on September 04 '13 at 04:45 PM
By Tycho from Penny Arcade:
God help me. God helps us all.

(CW)TB

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Rayman Legends
Posted by News Fetcher on September 04 '13 at 11:30 AM
By Gabe from Penny Arcade:
I’ve been playing a ton of Rayman Legends on the Wii U for the last two days. This game is fucking incredible. The way it uses the Wii U gamepad is nothing short of genius. I’ve been playing it with my wife, me taking on the platforming while she handles the touch controls on the gamepad. If you played the demo you know that the person on the gamepad can do cool stuff like cut ropes to lower platforms or stamp out fireballs before they reach you.

I had no idea just how many incredible mechanics they put on the gamepad though. We just played a series of levels that had her carving out paths and tunnels “Where’s My Water” style that I then had to run through. She had to divert a pool of lava with one tunnel while carving out a path for me to get past it. A later level has a lantern that casts light all around the level. If I’m hit by the light I get zapped with a laser. She has to pick up the lantern with the stylus and move the lantern around as I run and jump through the level. I’ve honestly never played anything like this. The way it forces you to work together is fucking inspired.

If you play it on another system I’m sure it’s a cool game but when you play it on the Wii U you get something truly new and incredibly special.

Rayman Legends is a reason to get a Wii U.

- Gabe Out

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Flinch
Posted by News Fetcher on September 04 '13 at 10:45 AM
By Tycho from Penny Arcade:
I would have gotten here a lot sooner if it weren’t for Cookie Clicker. Man, fuck that guy. You work so hard to ennoble play and craft and systems as aesthetics and whatever other Goddamn thing, but if you put a cookie on the screen and ask me to click it I will apparently do that for hours and fucking hours. I’m creating three and a half million cookies per second and it feels like the apex of human achievement. I stand atop a cookie ziggurat, my arms outstretched; chocolate lightning strikes both palms.

Jesus Christ; I need to go through all these business cards and try to remember what I intended to tell these people. I usually put them behind my license, in the little marsupial pouch, but there got to be more than I could fit in there.

Gabriel had almost no time to play anything of any kind the entire show, the regular old Cobbler’s Sonundrum, but he did get his mitts on Sonic Lost World which so impressed him that he was willing to offer the franchise a temporary loan of goodwill, to be rescinded at the first moment of grimdark.
I went as nuts as I could, by comparison; I’ve watched the harvest from every game show I can’t attend mount and mount and it was time. This stuff is going to leach at a steady rate from my mind, I’ll get to it all eventually. Some of it, like Always Sometimes Monsters, I need to get builds for. Some I need to remember to Kickstart, like Chromancer. But today I’m going to talk about Titanfall.
< article continued at Penny Arcade >

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Post PAX post
Posted by News Fetcher on September 04 '13 at 09:15 AM
By Gabe from Penny Arcade:
PAX is over now and I’m at home recovering. It was an incredible four days and I wanted to share some of my highlights.

A soldier who was stationed in Afghanistan gave me an incredible gift. He said that he was stuck in a tiny outpost in the middle of nowhere. A friend of his was able to dig a good sized chunk of Lapis Lazuli out of the ground and gave it to him. He took this solid rock of pure Lapis and began hand carving dice. he made two sets, one to keep and the other to give away. From the second set he gave 2 dice each to myself, jerry, Scott, and Kris. Here’s a picture of the two dice I chose.



Keep in mind these are hand carved. He said that during his deployment he would just spend a little time each day sanding and working on them. I can’t believe how beautiful they are. It’s an incredible gift and I wanted to share it here.

I was also given another amazing gift this year.



This is a one month sobriety chip given to me by a fan who told me that Penny Arcade helped him through some very difficult times. I get items like this quite often and it’s always an incredible honor. It means alot to me every time someone comes up and tells me that PA has helped them in some way. On the last day of the show I was walking back to my hotel and a young man ran up to me. He had tears in his eyes and he didn’t say anything. He just hugged me. This was a, no bullshit, real hug and as he did it he just said “thank you for all of this.” then he just ran off before I could even respond. I remember all these stories and all these hugs and they are a continual source of inspiration. So thank YOU.

< article continued at Penny Arcade >

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Flinch
Posted by News Fetcher on September 03 '13 at 11:15 PM
From Penny Arcade:


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Pinthusiast
Posted by News Fetcher on September 02 '13 at 09:30 AM
By Tycho from Penny Arcade:
Ordinarily at this time I’d be trying to disassemble an Incan stonework of tightly compressed memories in a more or less mute attempt to to communicate the previous three days. But since PAX Prime is now four days, I’m still trying to do that while new memories are being added higher in the stack.
The purpose of the four day gambit was to allow people who wanted very badly to attend PAX access to the show, and in my experience - I’ve met hundreds and hundreds of people - it had the intended effect. There are also many people who come for a single day, now; Helljumpers, fired from orbit, ready to PAX as though PAX were a verb. I like it.
We did the Make a Strip Panel on Saturday as per usual, and
this was the result; it’s a question that we get often and we DO have a lot of traded pins. The real answer probably has more to do with being sanitized and offered in blind boxes, but that comic SUCKS. I think it’s worth nothing that between Gabe’s Surface (the computer, not, like… his skin) and Manga Studio, he’s able to deliver a much more robust product under hard constraints. Without those tools, I don’t know that he would have even attempted something this elaborate on stage - let alone completed it in eighty minutes or so. Yeesh.
< article continued at Penny Arcade >

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Pinthusiast
Posted by News Fetcher on September 01 '13 at 11:15 PM
From Penny Arcade:


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Decor, Part Two
Posted by News Fetcher on August 29 '13 at 11:15 PM
From Penny Arcade:


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Decor, Part Two
Posted by News Fetcher on August 29 '13 at 11:15 PM
By Tycho from Penny Arcade:
Just in case you think this is a purely fictional enterprise, let me assure you: it’s all so terrifyingly real. I would tell you who we went through, or whatever, but I don’t want to advertise for a service I haven’t received anything from yet. Maybe they’re huge jerks! Maybe you open the box, and in addition to your cravats or whatever there is also a ton of skin and hair. Man, I don’t know.
I didn’t actually speak to Anton Guarana, who I am sure is an actual person somewhere you could probably talk to about which scenarios are and are not “sandal occasions.” No. I spoke to someone else, in a conversation that had elements of anthropology, therapy, and the lemon-wax tang of the confessional. What I came away with is that I am way, way out of my depth. I know a lot about manticores and that’s basically it.

I was not prepared for the extent to which discussing clothing would make me feel naked.
For the duration of PAX, On The Rain-Slick Precipice Of Darkness Three and <href="http://store.steampowered.com/app/237570/">Four</a> are each half off, which makes them two fifty apiece. And then, through some Necromancy I don’t have the language to contain, you can buy both of them at the same time and get them both for four dollars. If you are the sort who craves value, four dollars for fifteen hours ain’t bad. And I’d describe that as conservative, especially taking the bonus content and prequel chapter from 3 - functionally, a self-contained game - into account. The fourth and final chapter of the series is, um… vast? Let’s go with vast.

The “duration of PAX” includes today, of course, because PAX - the PAX known as PAX Prime - is well and truly on.

(CW)TB out.

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Decor, Part One
Posted by News Fetcher on August 28 '13 at 11:00 AM
By Tycho from Penny Arcade:
I wholly standardized my clothing options some indistinct period of time ago - thick black shirts, black shoes, dark jeans. The socks and underwear are black also, so that I can wash my life all at once if needs be. I tend to ensconce commentary regarding my reasons for doing so - or, indeed, any kind of self-assessment - in an impenetrable ironic bulwark. I don’t think this makes me a statistical outlier, by any means. I hope you won’t be surprised to learn that I’m kind of a dork.
The problem is that there’s Catch 22 woven into the entire fucking mess, in that you can’t actually opt out. Even if you adopt a platform similar to my own, you’re still communicating… something. This is precisely the kind of fan language, status hierarchy bullshit I find repulsive/want nothing to do with, but if I’m playing some kind of a game without knowing it I want to be better at it. People hack this mechanism to their benefit constantly. Even if most of the signalling done in this context is most likely for a man younger than myself who is substantially less married, I… don’t know. I wonder what that looks like.
As a direct result of reader generosity, Downloadable Content - also known as the Penny Arcade Podcast - is now thoroughly available. Some have already savored its intensity. But it has a link at the top of the page, like a feature that’s all growed up. Install it on a jumpdrive, and apply it directly to your swollen commute. Listen to it on a run, and spur yourself to new heights of fitness by imagining we are nipping at your very heels. Or, listen to them if you are not currently listening to anything else! Godspeed, and may you find them of use.
(CW)TB out.

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Twisp and Catsby Pin Set
Posted by News Fetcher on August 28 '13 at 09:15 AM
By Gabe from Penny Arcade:


This is an online exclusive set meaning it will not be sold at any shows. You can get it right now in the Penny Arcade store.

-Gabe out

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Decor, Part One
Posted by News Fetcher on August 28 '13 at 07:15 AM
From Penny Arcade:


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Pinny Arcade PAX Prime Part 1
Posted by News Fetcher on August 27 '13 at 09:30 AM
By Gabe from Penny Arcade:
Pin trading at PAX East and PAX Aus has been absolutely insane. Now it’s time to bring the Pinny Arcade madness to Pax Prime and it’s going to be even bigger. We’re launching more than 40 new pins at Prime! That’s a lot of pins so I’m going to break up the announcement into two parts. So today I’m just going to cover the new Penny Arcade related pins. Next week I’ll go over all the new third party pins from companies like Ubisoft, Sony and NCsoft.

First I’ll cover the pins that you will be able to purchase from the merch booth at PAX Prime.

The Core Set with lanyard.



This is your introduction into the magical world of Pinny Arcade pin trading. This core set has been available for purchase at PAX East and PAX Aus and is also available online from our store.

The PAX Prime 2013 set.



Each PAX this year has had it’s own unique set and Prime is no different. In this set you get little kid Gabe and Tycho from the “Trick of Retrospective” comic. As well as a kitten Thomas and the PAX Prime logo pin.

The Lookouts set.



This set includes all of the boys, the Scoutmaster Samson and the Lookouts Logo.



Finally if you spend $100 or more at the merch booth you will get the Merch pin. At PAX East and PAX Aus this pin was usually gone on the first day so if you want one I recommend hitting the merch booth early.

Now onto the pins you need to trade for.

Penny Arcade Staff Pins

< article continued at Penny Arcade >

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Pinny Arcade PAX Prime Part 2
Posted by News Fetcher on August 27 '13 at 09:30 AM
By Gabe from Penny Arcade:
Last week I showed you all of the Penny Arcade related Pinny Arcade pins that will be launching at PAX Prime. Now it’s time to show you all the awesome third party pins that will be making their debut at the show. I love the PA pins but my goal with Pinny Arcade was always to make it about games in general. The idea was really to take Disney Pin Trading and apply it to all of gaming. Well I’m happy to say that’s exactly what’s happening now. Check this out, and remember, it’s just the beginning!



So how do you get your hands on these? Well let’s start at the top.

Wizards of the Coast: All you need to do to score this Magic the Gathering pin is find the WOTC booth and run through a demo of Magic. Easy and honestly you should do that anyway.

Ubisoft: In order to get this Rayman pin you will need to pre-order Rayman Legends at the Ubisoft booth. It doesn’t matter what system, just reserve a copy and the pin is yours.

Sony: This Infamous Second Son pin is another easy one to get. They will give you one for stopping by the Sony booth and checking out the game’s demo. You can also get one at the Sucker Punch panel Friday, August 30th @ 5:30pm. Kraken Theater. Finally if you happen to see a Sucker Puncher just walking around they will have the pin as well.

Carbine Studios: Just go check out Wildstar at their booth and they will give you a pin!

Hidden Path: Find their booth in the Expo hall and play Windbourne or Defense Grid 2 then spin a prize wheel. You have a chance of winning a few different prizes but you have the best chance of winning a pin I am told.

< article continued at Penny Arcade >

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Harshstone
Posted by News Fetcher on August 26 '13 at 11:00 AM
By Tycho from Penny Arcade:
Kara burst onto the scene with a succession of handles, which is right and necessary: the first one I knew about was Angel Eyes, which I always assumed was a Steelheart reference but never asked. Her ability to kill men from an elevated position lead to her being dubb’d Orbital Strike, which stuck for awhile. Various groups have formed and dissolved since then, and when she wants to play there’s always a spot, but competing against John Rando isn’t really her thing these days.
No, I think she’d much rather play against Gabriel, an opponent against whom victory is (apparently) assured. The last time Gabriel ran aground on her desolate shoals was in Capy’s Might & Magic: Clash of Heroes, an overlooked and underrated competitive offering. I don’t think he ever did win that time. I don’t think he won ever, and it might have been the last competitive game they played until Hearthstone. I don’t get the impression that much has improved in the interim.

Listening to Gabir ragetweet about Splinter Cell: Blacklist multi bummed me out. Watching he and Robert play the old one - really, for real, just watching - is a top ten gaming memory. It’s still very interesting, and I think it might be interesting for more people, but for the stalwarts who have maintained a kind of psychic altar for the original this experience is just going to be too truncated and smoothed out to take up the mantle.

< article continued at Penny Arcade >

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Stuff
Posted by News Fetcher on August 26 '13 at 10:00 AM
By Gabe from Penny Arcade:
Tabletop Games

The last of our D&D podcasts went up today setting the stage for our live game at PAX Prime. If you missed it there are seven episodes available over on the WOTC site. Acquisitions Inc. has gained a new intern named Viari played by Patrick Rothfuss. We had a ton of fun playing with Pat, he’s a great role player and really brought a cool character to the table.

So go listen to the podcasts and then check out the live game 3:30 on Saturday in the main theatre to see Scott, Jerry, Pat and myself pick up where the podcast leaves off.

Video games.

I picked up Splinter Cell Blacklist specifically for the promised “classic” spies vs. mercs multiplayer. Robert and I must have played a hundred hours of the original Spies vs. Mercs multiplayer in Pandora tomorrow. When we saw that Blacklist was bringing it back we were crazy excited. Only they didn’t bring it back.

What they have is a two vs. two spies vs. mers option but they have stripped out everything that made the original game so great. There is no way to interact with the opposite team now that does not involve killing them. Spies can’t grab a merc and hold them hostage, whisper to them or use them to bypass security. You can’t knock someone out and make their teammate come over and revive them. There is no built in security for the spies to try and deal with. No lasers, cameras or alarms. The merc can’t place trip lasers, shoot his own mines or even cycle through multiple vision modes. So there is no more catching a glimpse of a spies electromagnetic signature through the ceiling. or using your motion vision to see him moving through the shadows. The spy can’t jump or boost his teammate or back flip off a wall. Also he has a crossbow now because… I have no idea why he has a crossbow now.

< article continued at Penny Arcade >

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Harshstone
Posted by News Fetcher on August 25 '13 at 11:15 PM
From Penny Arcade:


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Dream Big
Posted by News Fetcher on August 23 '13 at 09:45 AM
By Tycho from Penny Arcade:
I read Ben’s thing about EVE: Valkyrie, and I saw something over at Joystiq about some spitballed VR shit for the Oculus Rift, and it occurred to me that somehow we’ve never made a comic about the thing. This is after having the Goddamned future strapped to our heads. I was even eaten by a shark at one point! No strip catalogues the event.
Being eaten by a shark sucks, if you were wondering. Even if there’s no shark, and you aren’t really being eaten, and you were warned about hungry sharks. Even if you sought the shark out specifically to be eaten by it. It’s a weird device. Google Glass is hacking society; we’ve talked about that. It warps shared space. This Rift thing gets under your own biological hood. Its weaponry faces the other direction.
Gabriel suggested the device was going to be leveraged in an erotic context, which surprised me, even though that may be the least surprising thing in the novel and secret history of the unexpected. We discussed it at length, all of it recorded for a Podcast whose raw audio I just handed off, in which Gabriel kink-shames my enthusiasm for a tight thorax.
Re: Erotic games, there seems to be a standing question out there regarding whether or not such a thing could have the intended effect. This is a question people like to ask about games a lot for some reason. Can a game make you cry? Can a game, in the year of our lord 2013, make a person shit? These are incredibly boring questions. We are feeling machines; that is what we do.
< article continued at Penny Arcade >

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Dream Big
Posted by News Fetcher on August 23 '13 at 12:15 AM
From Penny Arcade:


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Missive
Posted by News Fetcher on August 21 '13 at 10:31 AM
By Tycho from Penny Arcade:
Deciding what to play with your leisure time, let alone deciding what to make a comic about, is a non-trivial matter at the moment. Shit’s dense. And then a will-o-the-wisp like Hearthstone shoots off into a cave, and you pretty much have to follow it.
Card games of every stripe - collectible, another kind of collectible, deckbuilding, whatever - I have an endless fascination with them. That’s no surprise to you, of course; I’m always trying to make you play one. In fact, I’m going to do it again today. As the whole shebang has crept more and more digital, and almost universally free to play, it’s been a dangerous conflux. The most pleasurable thing for me, brain-chemistry wise, is learning a new system. The rewards are immense, and tactile. So if I can download your system for free, getting what I want most, oh, and also there are new ones every day from every corner of the globe because of our Web, look the fuck out. I can eat half of each caramel in this metaphorical See’s box, tipping the truffles and and bordeaux and Walnut Shitters straight into the trash uneaten.
< article continued at Penny Arcade >

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