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News - Eyerewood Adventures!
Posted by News Fetcher on August 30 '15 at 09:15 PM
By Gabe from Penny Arcade:
I know we’ve been really quiet about Thornwatch and there has not been much from the twitter but there’s been a good reason. Behind the scenes we’ve been working on some really cool stuff. The Thornwatch panel just wrapped up and it was a big one. We made a couple announcements that explain why we went dark there for a bit. I know not everyone can make it to PAX though so I wanted to share it all here as well.

The first one is that we have partnered with Mike Selinker and his company Loanshark games to develop and produce the game! Mike is an amazing game designer and he’s made tons of cool stuff that I am sure you’ve played. Games like Betrayal at House on the Hill, Dungeons and Dragons 3rd edition and more recently the Pathfinder Adventure card game. He’s got a great team and now I feel like we finally have the expertise/experience we need to get this game on shelves.

The second big announcement is that Mike Selinker didn’t want to make Thornwatch all by itself. When he thinks about games he thinks on a much bigger scale than me. Mike didn’t just want Thornwatch, he wanted the entire Eyrewood. So Thornwatch will now be a part of:

Now we’re talking about a series of games that will explore each of the three Eyrewood factions. The Lookouts, the Thornwatch and the Daughters of the Eyrewood!

< article continued at Penny Arcade >

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Comic - Coddus Interruptus
Posted by News Fetcher on August 27 '15 at 11:15 PM
From Penny Arcade:

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News - Coddus Interruptus
Posted by News Fetcher on August 27 '15 at 11:15 PM
By Tycho from Penny Arcade:
There’s probably an astronomical metaphor to be made about how Black Ops 3 entered into some specific point in its arc while Grooby Doo, Kiko, and myself were doing some other space thing. The upshot - denuded of linguistic foofaraw - is that it’s been a very long time since everything lined up and felt this way. The story in the strip is true, by the way. Technically speaking, you don’t have to wait for two immobile months on the couch; if you have access to an Xbox One or a decent PC, it’s possible that you could play in the phase that runs until Sunday, a period of time which “perfectly” lines up with PAX. Once the beta shuts down on the 30th, then you can wait two immobile months. Try passing the time by spinning a cocoon.

When I was toiling at SAX a week ago - SAX being the pre-PAX event where the swag bags get stuffed, praise be to the Enforcers - I could see that the Formians who work at the convention center were already hoisting shit with the use of… I mean, they could only be called hoisters. I guess I didn’t know that was something they did that far ahead. I’m always there the day before the show proper, and they’re going fucking nuts in there, but I didn’t know they were going consistently nuts for an entire fucking week. I considered for a moment how many other things I might not know, and decided correctly that this was the only thing.

I’ve set myself up quite a Friday, with a Q&A, standing very near to people while they make a game, interviews, and Acquisitions Incorporated just for the on-paper, scheduled shit. Maybe this is a strong play, though. Knock all the big stuff out, and then, I dunno… attend PAX?
< article continued at Penny Arcade >

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News - Them Rainbow 6: Siege Codes
Posted by News Fetcher on August 26 '15 at 01:00 PM
By Tycho from Penny Arcade:
Here’s a bunch of R6 codes in my magical code machine, which can be redeemed for the platform of your choice - apparently this Beta phase gets activated 9/24, so, you know, put it in your calendar I guess. I’ve been following it super close, especially the destructible terrain slash intelligence gathering phase. Maybe you have, too. It’s been awhile. I really want to see what they’ve done with the place.


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News - Idea Man
Posted by News Fetcher on August 26 '15 at 11:31 AM
By Tycho from Penny Arcade:
Some things are said to have been “a good idea at the time,” the subtext being that it was actually a bad idea even at the moment of its conception, and that this badness was compressed during both the execution and aftermath into a kind of crystalline shit matrix. I think that my panel idea may exist somewhere in that continuum.

It’s a weird thrust for a panel, in that it doesn’t have the traditional interplay. It’s more like improv, I guess. Game jazz. I feel like I built a heist crew and now I have to accompany them on the heist even though I’ve never heisted even one time, I just like theft. But let’s say it did turn out okay, and I don’t boil inside my own skin until delicious. What could we do with such a creature? What if it hatched, and refused to die? I want to know.
If this paragraph were on Insta, it would be appended with the hashtag #justpaxthings: all conventions are metaconventions, in their way. They are composed of concentric flavor spheres, like an Everlasting Gobstopper, and people select their threshold from the superset. PAX is a chimerical thing, and vast, to the point that there are many things I love about PAX that are creatures of the space itself.
< article continued at Penny Arcade >

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Comic - Idea Man
Posted by News Fetcher on August 25 '15 at 11:15 PM
From Penny Arcade:

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News - CTS Krosmaster Figurines!
Posted by News Fetcher on August 25 '15 at 11:15 AM
By Tycho from Penny Arcade:
They did such a great job on these, holy shit. I can’t believe it. if you’re gonna be at PAX, they’re available in Room 210 on the 2nd floor in the Tabletop Area for ten bucks. I don’t know what the plans for them are outside of that, and I haven’t seen the stat card - you’ll have to ask them.

< article continued at Penny Arcade >

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News - The Ante
Posted by News Fetcher on August 24 '15 at 11:15 AM
By Tycho from Penny Arcade:
I really didn’t enjoy the small amount of time I spent with Toy Soldiers: War Chest and I’m not one hundred percent sure I’ll be back.

I don’t think the game feels good to play, and the game’s identity is diffuse to the point of obliteration. It’s probably important to note that I was trying it on Xbox One, maybe that matters in some way. It doesn’t look very good, the visuals can be muddy to the point of illegibility, and it doesn’t run super well. The economy in this thirty dollar game starts looking like a F2P title really quick. I legitimately wonder if the game wouldn’t execute its new identity - that of a clearing house for nostalgia - better as a freemium iOS title. Reading that line again, it seems like I’m being a bad man. I’m not trying to be a jerk, though. Remember? I’m the nice one. Well, sometimes. Depends on who you ask. I’ve discovered that assholes tend not to like me. But mainstream paeans like Legacy Brands travel far in that channel, and they have the licenses.
It comes up in the strip, too: typically I’m the one who has to lead the charge to give games a shot. Making things is hard and I want to recognize that, but there’s fewer days ahead than behind, or whatever. I gave them my money, they’ll have to content themselves with that. I’ve decided I’m going to play fun games for a while.
For example: the CoDBlOps3 beta is just about up, and I’ll be Goddamned if they didn’t get a purchase out of it. The last couple haven’t stuck for some reason. I bought Tiger Woods every year because I had a good year with it one time, and then I bought it for a few years after because I wanted to get back to that year; I chased this ghost around the block.
< article continued at Penny Arcade >

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Comic - The Ante
Posted by News Fetcher on August 23 '15 at 11:16 PM
From Penny Arcade:

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News - Funny Story
Posted by News Fetcher on August 21 '15 at 04:00 PM
By Gabe from Penny Arcade:
At the very first PAX in 2004 there was a daring theft. One of our banners, THIS banner actually

was stolen in the night! Remember when PAX was 24 hours? Yuck.

Anyway, the thief was chased but escaped and we assumed the banner was gone forever. However at last year’s PAX prime here in Seattle, we received an incredible gift. The banner that had been lost was returned and the man who gave it to us confessed to having committed the crime!

The story he told was fantastic. The plan he hatched to get it, how he eluded capture, then how he lived with his trophy for an entire decade. I think he figured we’d be mad but we just laughed and laughed. We shook his hand and thanked him for returning it. We forgave him right there on the spot.

But we did not forget.

Recently Ian (let’s call him Ian since that is his real name) hung a rather large Broncos flag in his office.

This is a photo of said flag

but it is no longer hanging in Ian’s office. No, it is currently hanging over MY couch in MY office.

How do you like that shit Ian? Don’t worry, you can have you’re flag back.

In ten fucking years.

-Gabe out

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News - Stuff you can buy.
Posted by News Fetcher on August 21 '15 at 10:18 AM
By Gabe from Penny Arcade:
Hello Penny Arcade readers. I’d like to introduce our merchandise guy Brian. He is not good at Fantasy Football like me and he is very physically fit. He’s going to talk about merchandise at PAX Prime.

-Gabe out

(click for the big version)

PAX! It’s soon. SO SOON! If you’re planning on coming, you’re probably excited about a lot of things. Somewhere down near the middle of that list might be some show merch. I’m here to tell you that you should move merch higher on the list. Way higher. We’ve got a great stuff this year. New stuff! Stuff you have probably not even IMAGINED!

Here’s a shortlist of JUST the PAX Exclusive items we’re going to have: Playmats, Scarves, Foam D20s, Water Bottles, A New Mug, Pins, T-Shirts, Posters.

Plus… and I’m separating these because I want to highlight them.

A super-limited edition giclee print of the program cover art (we’ll only have 100 per day).

Astro A38s (their new wireless headsets) with exclusive Penny Arcade tags.

And… for the first time ever, a PAX Hoodie. We went all-out on these. Premium, fleece-lined sweatshirts, with our own pattern lining the hoods and embroidered designs on the chest and across the back. They are seriously sweet!

You can also get an exclusive drawstring backpack as part of a PAX Combo set. It includes the bag, the PAX Waterbottle and a t-shirt all together for $60.

< article continued at Penny Arcade >

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News - The Omniway
Posted by News Fetcher on August 21 '15 at 10:01 AM
By Tycho from Penny Arcade:
The top-line bit in any story about Fig - a Kickstart-alike from a gaggle of crowdfunding apex predators tired of paying Kickstarter’s fees - is that there is a route here to get equity in the games produced. Eventually they’d like that to be broadly applicable, but for now, it turns out there are laws that govern this type of speculation. It requires that those who partake in the ritual be Accredited Investors, which means among other things that they have money to lose. It presents a scenario where you could lose your shirt funding a game where you play as a shirt in a world where shirts have been outlawed.

Becoming an Accredited Investor is no simple matter, and indeed, involves the renunciation of matter itself. The six “mouths” referred to previously may not be mouths at all but a sequence of six conduits one must traverse, devoured by a succession of increasingly sparse realities, until only intention remains. Then, and only then, can you fund a kinda 16-bit lookin’ indie roguelike.
Over here we are set to the PAX channel and it is running 24 hours a day. I am fully terrified of it, I don’t know entirely how two fundamentally monastic weirdos came to be the emcees of shit, and generally that would mean that I cocoon myself but I’m not gonna do that this time. I put myself in the panel mix just to get over it - Gabe and I are going to make a boardgame, live, alongside the crew from Lone Shark Games with zero preparation. There has to be a stress level beyond which the pressure no longer increases… right? I am determined to find it.

< article continued at Penny Arcade >

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Comic - The Omniway
Posted by News Fetcher on August 20 '15 at 11:15 PM
From Penny Arcade:

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News - Mouth Crimes Department
Posted by News Fetcher on August 19 '15 at 10:30 AM
By Tycho from Penny Arcade:
This has been my doom from the very beginning, all my life. Most of the words I know I got from books, which I thought were my friends, but they don’t necessarily have pronunciation keys and also the English language is a kaleidoscopic whorehouse.

It won’t surprise you to learn that my stunted, hairless translucence was borne of a largely solitary childhood that involved me learning words alone, and then saying them to myself, without the civilizing benefit of the social mirror. What follows is a brief list of these infractions.

rappel - RAPple

vagina - VaGEEna

melee - Mealy

Gabriel - Grob Grob

Indeed, I was talking to him about Mealy specifically, and I was like, “Yeah, but that’s one that everybody gets wrong.” And he was like, “No, they don’t” and then he was like, “Why would you say that? To make yourself feel better?” and I was like “Yes, you got me. I’m a human being. I knew you would find me out eventually.”

Anyway, I pronounce Blastoise in a super cool, cultured way that summons boys directly to the yard. And women are drawn to it, like moths to a… to, like, a… carefully manicured, but ultimately false mispronunciation…?
Anyway. Imagine my pleasure when, in an effort to make the my last hour of consciousness useful, I logged on to World of Tanks on Xbox One and saw Kiko on there, also playing World of Tanks</a>. I’d been trying to set it up without success for days, and then when I stopped trying to be a successful, competent person, I got what I wanted automatically. When I get home, I’m going to put some flour and eggs out on the counter somewhere, just pile them up, and have cake for <i>breakfast because that’s apparently how it fucking works.
< article continued at Penny Arcade >

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Comic - Mouth Crimes Department
Posted by News Fetcher on August 18 '15 at 11:15 PM
From Penny Arcade:

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News - PAX Prime Schedule + Rocket League!
Posted by News Fetcher on August 18 '15 at 01:45 PM
By Tycho from Penny Arcade:
The full schedule for all your strategic planning needs can be found here. Of course, you can also grab the official Guidebook app for Android or iOS. You can even access a Web version. I don’t have a position on which one is the right one. I respect your decision.

I am also here to announce something new for the show: The PAX Arena! This “PAX Arena” can take different shapes at different shows, but here’s what it means this time: it’s at the famous Paramount Theatre, it’s 2v2 Rocket League, Daily Tournaments, tons of spectator seating, and the prize bangs like a brick in a dryer.
PAX Arena

- Daily 64 team 2v2 Rocket League tourney. Single Elimination. PS4.

- Held at the Paramount Theatre

- Friday, Saturday, Sunday

- Semis and Finals Livestreamed on on the PAX Channel 1, every day, starting at 5:30p

- Each day the winning team will walk away with two custom Rocket League / PAX PS4s (no repeat winners though)

- If you don’t have a partner, we’re sure we can pair you up on site.


- 10 AM - Noon, Registration

- Noon - 4:45p, Opening Rounds

- 5:30p - 8:30p, Semis and Finals

And here’s a shot of the PS4’s that you can win at this thing, customized expertly by Colorware off Gavin’s rad polygonal theme for this year’s shows.

I said God damn!


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News - Enforcers in Australia!
Posted by News Fetcher on August 17 '15 at 03:30 PM
By Gabe from Penny Arcade:
If you have a dream in your heart, and that dream is to enforce at PAX Australia. Then I hope you fill out and turn in your application today by midnight Melbourne time. If you are not sure what Melbourne time is I have a simple trick to figure it out. Look at the current time and then just add three kangaroos!

so simple.

-Gabe out

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News - Peephole
Posted by News Fetcher on August 17 '15 at 11:15 AM
By Tycho from Penny Arcade:
I’m not worried about Star Wars Overload in the slightest. I guess this is a problem for some people. I want to replace one or more of my limbs with sentient, crystallized Star Wars. Any Fucking Hennig is making a Star Wars game? I’ll take two. And you might think that such a position represents enthusiasm, and perhaps it does, but enthusiasm is a spectrum and there is apparently room on this diagram to the right of me.

There are Two PAXes between now and when the movie launches, and a PAX is sort of like a
lock, or what a lock would be, but for time; I can’t see past them at all. But if I survive both of these, I think I would like to celebrate it by watching this movie.
I wrapped The Witcher 3 last night at just over sixty hours, which - as an index of that game’s buxom fullness - is basically no time at all. There will be people who claim I have eaten half of it, and thrown the rest of it away. I can see that. I didn’t beat it because I wanted to, I beat it so I could reclaim the processes I had dedicated to it. I was obsessed with it before it came out. I have to put it down. Well, until the DLC.
Something weird happens in The Witcher 3 when you progress the main quest to the endgame. I have played lots of “open world” games that didn’t feel like real places, or felt like parodies of places, which I would say is conceptually distinct. This place feels like itself. And even side content, which generally feels algorithmic in games like this, is something a real person gave a shit about and you can tell. For forty or fifty hours I felt like I was watching another world through a palantír.
< article continued at Penny Arcade >

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Comic - Peephole
Posted by News Fetcher on August 16 '15 at 11:15 PM
From Penny Arcade:

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Posted by News Fetcher on August 14 '15 at 10:30 AM
By Gabe from Penny Arcade:
I have never been this excited to announce a new round of pins! So I’m just going to get right to it!

<click for the big version>


Pit People Pins [The Behemoth]

Available at The Behemoth Booth #3004

Portal 2 Pins [We Love Fine]

Available at the Valve Store in the We Love Fine Booth #7411

Banner Saga Pins [Versus Evil]

Available at the Versus Evil Booth #6608

Rage of Demons Pin [WotC]

Available to all attendees of the Acquisitions Incorporated Panel or at the Wizards of the Coast Booth #1642

Gideon Pin [WotC]

Available on the Magic the Gathering Prize Wall as well as the Battle for Zendiker event on Saturday in the Annex. It will also be available at the PAX twitch panel and various social media opportunities.

Double Fine Logo and Raz Pins [Double Fine]

Available at the Double Fine Booth #117

Vault Boy and Doom Revenant Pins [Bethesda]

Available at the Bethesda Booth #2030

Co-Optional Podcast and Seattle Polaris Grand Prix Pins [Maker]

Available at the Maker Booth #3835

Minecraft Diamond Block Pin [Thinkgeek]

Available at the Thinkgeek Booth #SKY9

Kappa Pin [Twitch]

-Be one of the first 200 guests in line for Twitch Town Hall panel Friday, August 25,

4-5PM at the Streaming Theater.

-The first 50 people to play H1Z1 in the HP Omen gaming arena will walk away with one Kappa pin everyday at Twitch booth #3317.

-Follow us on Twitter to find out which Twitch staff member is playing treasure goblin and hoarding a bag of pins to give away. They’ll be on the show floor daily at 12PM and 4PM. Don’t forget the secret phrase!

Gigantic Tyto Pin [Motiga]

Available at the Motiga Booth #3827
< article continued at Penny Arcade >

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