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Totally Of The Mearas
Posted by News Fetcher on January 02 '13 at 08:00 AM
From Penny Arcade:


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My top 10 strips of 2012
Posted by News Fetcher on December 31 '12 at 11:00 AM
By Gabe from Penny Arcade:
It is December 31st and that means it’s time for a top ten list! I took a stroll back through 2012 and came up with my 10 favorite Penny Arcade strips from the last year.

10. Exclusivity

We had a very serious love affair with Star Wars: The Old Republic. The highlight for me was my character’s class story. I feel like the story and choices in SW:TOR really put the RP into MMORPG. That role playing got me into a bit of trouble with my wife but I couldn’t help it. Even my Jedi Consular could not resist flirting with a beautiful Twi’lek.

9. Incredibility

This really felt like the year of the Kickstarter. Some incredibly high profile designers used the service to bankroll new games. Of course you also had a lot of characters like John Videogames here with wild and ambiguous ideas begging for millions.

8. Anthrophila

Not much to say about this one. I just really love the gag and the drawing of Gabe in the last panel.

7. Anticipation

I love Hero Academy but waiting for your friend to make their move is brutal. When you have time and you want to play, you can’t imagine what bullshit your friends are up to and why they can’t put in a couple turns. Again this is one of my favorite third panel drawings of the year.

6. Firebird

This was a joke we came up with when we heard they were sending Angry Birds to space for the next game. I know it’s a simple gag but for some reason it still cracks me up.

5. Crowdsourcing

“I’m going on the Internet, to find people who agree with me” is still something we say around the office.

< article continued at Penny Arcade >

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On Flashing
Posted by News Fetcher on December 31 '12 at 09:30 AM
From Penny Arcade:


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Playing Roles
Posted by News Fetcher on December 27 '12 at 11:15 PM
By Tycho from Penny Arcade:
There have been a few takes on roleplaying in Star Wars setting, a few official ones anyway; you could always use any old system if you felt like handling the deviations wrought by its approach to stellar conflics, and I know people who do that. Knights of the Old Republic was essentially a re-skin of D&D, after all. I had the old West End version, of course, with its attendant brick of six siders. I’ve owned and played fully two different approaches from Wizards of the Coast, including the Saga edition, which some people considered a precursor to the much beloved/universally reviled Fourth Edition of Dungeons and Dragons.

Gabriel was never “in phase” during any of these other periods, he wasn’t ready for it yet. The only way to truly “make” him do anything is to make sure that whatever “it” is be constantly available so that when his carnivorous boredom takes hold he absorbs the stimuli I intend. He’s like my bonsai, in a way; there is ever a strand of wire at the ready.

He’s had a “beta” copy of Fantasy Flight’s foray into Star Wars roleplaying since PAX I think, but he’s been so busy developing Thornwatch that even Star Wars couldn’t fit edgewise. Now that Thornwatch is gestating down at Cryptozoic, the starter set for Edge of the Empire dropped at an optimal time. He related his excitement at running the game, and his eye-gleam was such that I felt like we oughta commemorate it.
< article continued at Penny Arcade >

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Dat Shroud
Posted by News Fetcher on December 26 '12 at 10:15 AM
From Penny Arcade:


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Star Wars: Edge of the Empire
Posted by News Fetcher on December 24 '12 at 11:30 AM
By Gabe from Penny Arcade:
I picked up the new Star Wars: Edge of the Empire beginner game box. This is an all in one product that contains everything you need to play a little adventure including character sheets, maps, rulebook and a handful of the special dice that are the core of the game.

The adventure is designed so that everyone learns the game as you play the adventure. Players grab character sheets and then you just dive in. Mechanics are introduced slowly with each new encounter. I really liked this system as we were all playing within minutes of sitting down at the table.

The first mechanic you learn and the one that is really the foundation of the game is the skill check. Edge of the Empire does not use the standard RPG dice that you’re familiar with from games like D&D. Instead it requires a set of custom dice in various shapes, colors and sizes all covered in odd symbols. They look a bit intimidating at first but once you learn the system it’s fast and most importantly, worth it.

< article continued at Penny Arcade >

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A Comic
Posted by News Fetcher on December 24 '12 at 10:30 AM
By Tycho from Penny Arcade:
It’s rare, but not completely unheard of, for us to check in on some political thing. It’s something we’re reticent to do; it’s easy to do wrong, and usually is, and so we avoid it the same way you might avoid any other treacherous pit.
The trouble is that, occasionally, an entity can dig a trench of this kind entirely around you, and it cannot be avoided. For the purposes of the metaphor, flight is impossible; I know you are enthusiastic about games, and have already begun to devise a method of escape. I appreciate it! Let me know.
You may resent such incursions as today’s strip, and rest assured, I resent them also. I vastly prefer our ordinary business, which may be thought of as the application of psychic unguents. I don’t have any particular interest in carrying water for the Gaming Industrial Complex, which is fraught on its best day, like any human endeavor. I sure as shit don’t give it unfettered access to my children. But I couldn’t be expected to sit completely inert on a day when ALL media - every way that a society talks to itself, every form of communication - was being set up the bomb. It was beyond surreal, and drove a wedge straight through their own base of support; their choice of boogeyman made it generational. It’s the same message I heard in church circa 1986, frankly. The message discipline is incredible.
I grew up in a hunting family; I’m not afraid of guns, but I certainly don’t worship them. They are devices which throw lethal metal at high speeds. I mean, right? It stands to reason that such devices would be correlated with injury, and it stands to reason that we could discuss the extent to which these injuries could be foreseen or avoided. If you don’t want me to talk about this kind of stuff, go make your world less dumb. That will deprive me of the opportunity.

< article continued at Penny Arcade >

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A Comic
Posted by News Fetcher on December 23 '12 at 11:15 PM
From Penny Arcade:


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A Comic
Posted by News Fetcher on December 21 '12 at 01:31 PM
By Gabe from Penny Arcade:
We made Monday’s comic this morning and then decided that we should probably just put it up now.

-Gabe out

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The Vault Of Winter, Part Seven
Posted by News Fetcher on December 21 '12 at 10:45 AM
By Tycho from Penny Arcade:
The Vault Of Winter, Part Seven is now available - I pray it finds you well. We originally considered doing a story because we were working on something else, and that seemed like the best idea; I suggested AcqInc for a storyline next year and then it was all I could think of. It has been our great pleasure giving you something else to think about for the brief periods we were able to.
Generally speaking, people from Seattle are lying when they talk about rain. They’re lying as regards the volume and frequency of the material. This happens because while we don’t like each other very much, this is a fairly icy town, we like people from elsewhere even less and try to scare them away with thoughts of drowning where they stand. But on years like this one, where it decides not to snow, we have a particular kind of rain that is like ice bullets from space.
It is this spectral horror rain that makes me look at the heaps and heaps of Kickstarted tabletop pleasure all arriving at once, games to play deep inside homes and on tables, and think that perhaps everything is gonna be okay. I backed all kinds of videogames, all kinds, but God only knows when that shit is gonna come out. I got swept up in it, and enjoyed the ride; enjoyed thinking of myself as a node in the distributed publisher of the future. I have no doubt that I will ultimately have paid for nothing on one of these, that I will be made to suffer for all my fond wishes at some point, but you’ll never convince me that investing in someone’s dream is a poor use of funds. Whenever I am able, I endeavor to make close the gap between our grotesque world of dust and the verdant fronds of an objectively better place.
< article continued at Penny Arcade >

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The Vault Of Winter, Part Seven
Posted by News Fetcher on December 21 '12 at 07:15 AM
From Penny Arcade:


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Gamers vs. Evil now on iOS!
Posted by News Fetcher on December 19 '12 at 11:30 AM
By Gabe from Penny Arcade:
The Penny Arcade Game:Gamers vs. evil is now available on the iOS app store. Everything you loved about our deck building game has been lovingly transferred over to this robust little app.



If you’ve never played before, the app even contains a full tutorial! So grab in ASAP to start fighting Deep Crows and collecting baby ninjas.



Also I believe our game is the only one to contain a card called “Touch Wieners”. I’m pretty sure that makes it a must buy.



Also we need more people playing to populate the multiplayer. GO GO GO!

-Gabe out

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The Vault Of Winter, Part Six
Posted by News Fetcher on December 19 '12 at 08:15 AM
From Penny Arcade:


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Holiday Shipping!
Posted by News Fetcher on December 18 '12 at 10:15 AM
By Gabe from Penny Arcade:
It is now the 18th, the last day for domestic Priority Mail, also known as the final sane shipping option.

We’ll be upgrading any standard domestic USPS shipping methods to Priority Mail. So you can just pick whatever is cheapest for you and we’ll upgrade it to Priority Mail AND ship it out TODAY so that it arrives before Christmas.

It’s a pretty sweet deal for procrastinators and for people who are so thoughtful that they’re shopping again.

After this there will just be UPS 2-day which exists but is very expensive.

We’re still running our holiday bonus items and we still have some Merch hats and Last Christmas board books left. It’s not too late to make this a very Penny Arcade Christmas for the special nerds in your life.

-Gabe out

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The Vault Of Winter, Part Five
Posted by News Fetcher on December 17 '12 at 08:30 AM
By Tycho from Penny Arcade:
The Vault of Winter, Module 5 is now available for feasting purposes. Get your choppers filed up and go crazy on them shitz!

If I am going to sit at a computer, and I’m not sitting there explicitly because I need to tell you something, I am probably playing Far Cry 3. I think I have liked every game called Far Cry; I even liked the nutballs one on the Xbox where your shit gets all mutated. I liked the second one, though not as much as industry observers are supposed to. I liked what they were trying to do, and I also liked that someone gave them the go-ahead to make a game where many of the “best parts” only happen for you, in your game. They don’t and can’t belong to anyone else.
I think that the new one has vritues; I’ve been staring at it for days, and I’m still not tired of looking at it - I haven’t reached the point where I’m “in it to win it” and all I see are ones and zeroes. I love the ways it approaches stealth, and its idea of what that should mean, where they model and reward a supercondensed version of the genre’s typical approach. I love that - like Conviction - when you decide to make your move, there are ways to catalyze a single action into a hyperkinetic fractal.
I like Far Cry 3 also because it is Assassin’s Creed. It even has towers I can reclaim and animals I can skin! I just did all this stuff like a month ago, but I guess I wasn’t tired of it. Some people don’t like the clutter and noise of all the cluttered, noisy things which are always popping up; I like them because these islands are big for real and I want to know where I’m supposed to go next. If I one of these psychotic, man-sized birds I want it to tell me right away if that kind of bird is good for making wallets. Also, I like making wallets apparently(?).
< article continued at Penny Arcade >

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The Vault Of Winter, Part Four
Posted by News Fetcher on December 17 '12 at 08:30 AM
From Penny Arcade:


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The Vault Of Winter, Part Four
Posted by News Fetcher on December 14 '12 at 10:15 AM
By Tycho from Penny Arcade:
Vault of Winter, Module 4: Blood On The Gate

With the Emerald Storm passing so near the Prime Material, passage to the Feywild is a dangerous (if not utterly lethal) endeavor. Hunks of shredding, sentient gem routinely liquefy interlopers travelling without the benefit of Elven expertise. Characters who acquired Aelf-Buxx in the first three modules may now expend them to secure guides of varying quality, according to the following chart:

Aelf-Buxx Assistance Outcome
1 Aelf-Buck Quarter-Elf, Mother’s Side Shredded Completely
2 Aelf-Buxx Half-Elf Dickhole Stretched Out
3 Aelf-Buxx Elf With Benefits It’s Complicated
4 Aelf-Buxx Super Elf Dong Transmuted To Iron
9 Aelf-Buxx Aeofel Elhromane Safe Passage/Scones


Upon exiting the portal, if that is a thing that even happens, the snowspire of Lord Wyntyr (“wean-tehr”) is plainly visible. A direct approach would be suicide, but if you have something else you need to do tonight you are welcome to suggest it. In this foolhardly, genuinely hilarious scenario, the party encounters 1d6+1 Paindeer.


Each wears a Blessed Windmantle and is armed with a devastating Psychic Goad. Each antler acts as an additional equipment slot; Permafrost Bulbs and Wave-Bangles are an especially unfair combination, then again, two Grave-Bells will probably do the trick. It’s pretty hard to fight a bipedal deer person when you’re dead twice.
(CW)TB out.
<a>wild and sweet</a>

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Dickerdoodles 2012
Posted by News Fetcher on December 14 '12 at 09:45 AM
By Gabe from Penny Arcade:
Rejoice perverts, it’s Dickerdoodle season again!



That’s right It’s that glorious time of year when our thoughts turn to penis shaped cookies and frosting that looks like semen. So get in the kitchen and start baking some sweet sweet dessert porn!

I’ll post my favorites here on the site and then pick three winners. Those lucky erotic bakers will each receive a prize pack full of Penny Arcade merchandise.



One last thing, before you snap a photo of yourself deep-throating a cookie prick and mail it to me, I want you to remember that these will be posted on the Internet. If that’s cool with you then please send me your photo and be sure and put “Dickerdoodle12” in the subject line. If you don’t use the right subject line I can’t promise I’ll see your shameful acts. You’ve got until Dec, 21st to send in your entries.



show me your worst/best you sickos!

-Gabe out

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Free Upgrade to Priority Mail!
Posted by News Fetcher on December 14 '12 at 09:30 AM
By Gabe from Penny Arcade:
Word from Brian is that the Penny Arcade store is being brutalized by the vigor of your holiday shopping.

Today is the Christmas order deadline for UPS Ground! Order by midnight tonight if you want to ship your order with this viable and popular shipping method.OR select Parcel Post or Domestic First-Class and we will upgrade your order to the Priority Mail option for free, getting your order to you in time for Christmas!

The Parcel/First Class Domestic to Priority Mail upgrade runs through the 18th… so you’ve got 4 days left for Christmas shopping, basically.

Don’t forget, If you spend $90 or more, you get the first of our Pinny Arcade pins, the Merch Pin! We have really big plans for Pinny Arcade and this is the only way to get the Merch pin besides trading for it later.


< article continued at Penny Arcade >

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The Vault Of Winter, Part Four
Posted by News Fetcher on December 13 '12 at 11:15 PM
From Penny Arcade:


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