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Red Hot
Posted by News Fetcher on November 09 '12 at 11:00 AM
By Tycho from Penny Arcade:
I thought it was best to ask Brenna for permission on this one, lest she come across it one one of the megatrawls she performs on the archive every few months. I said, “Michael and I want to make a comic about your vagina,” a sentence which I believe is unprecedented. After a brief outline, the strip was authorized.

It is my opinion, which I think is still allowed but it can be difficult to tell, pursuing women who do not have red hair isn’t a good time investment. Eventually you will look at her hair, realize it’s not red, and come to understand that you’ve settled for less. It hasn’t been my experience that there is any caustic resin produced at the, um, “venue.” That’s a misnomer. What you have to watch for are the surprisingly strong pedipalps.
Everybody is playing Letterpress, because it is Boggle Q-Bert and that’s a good thing to be. It’s not without its problems, though; words games are only as good as their dictionaries allow them to be. There are some deep holes here, and they aren’t the good kind. Utterly commonplace, everyday words like “flavacol,” “breathplay,” and “zoophile” lie forlorn, their points unscored. Finding one of these deeply normal words in the soup and then being denied its use stirs some ancient organ to life in my gut; it I think it is the organ responsible for war.
< article continued at Penny Arcade >

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Red Hot
Posted by News Fetcher on November 08 '12 at 11:15 PM
From Penny Arcade:


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Triangulation
Posted by News Fetcher on November 08 '12 at 09:45 AM
By Gabe from Penny Arcade:
We were on Triangulation yesterday. If you’re interested in hearing us talk about how PA got started you can watch a recording of the show right here.

We also talk a bit about Child’s Play and this year’s dinner auction on December 6th. We still have tickets available and you can get them right here.

I had a lot of people write in to tell me they liked my post about our various Halo comics over the years. It sounds like there is demand for more of these curated trips back through the archive. So here’s another!

Cardboard Tube Samurai

Some of these have multiple parts so be sure and click through.

Starting with the very first appearance of the Tube

I Have No Comment

Geibu

Chronicle Of Cardboard Tube Samurai

Cardboard and Steel, Part 1

The Buddy System

The Wandering Age

The Wandering Age 2

The Wandering Age: Last Rites

Last Rites, Part One

At The Feast Of Afterwinter

As Spring Dawns

The Hawk And The Hare, Part One

The Seventh Spring, Part One

-Gabe out

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Dongles
Posted by News Fetcher on November 06 '12 at 11:15 PM
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Halo 4
Posted by News Fetcher on November 06 '12 at 02:15 PM
By Gabe from Penny Arcade:
Halo 4 launched today and it’s a fantastic game.Penny Arcade has a long history with Master Chief and so I thought I’d round up a selection of our Halo inspired comics.

Halo? Very, Very Sexy

The Rest of the Story

Of Trailers

The Laws

True Halowood Stories

Oneupsmanship

Jim Beam

Retreat to the Citadel

Alien Genocide Is Thirsty Work

Dotage

Better than mowing lawns?

-Gabe out

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Retake Trenches
Posted by News Fetcher on November 06 '12 at 10:00 AM
By Gabe from Penny Arcade:
We had intended to end season 2 of the Trenches with the current strip. However this ending was not well received by Trenches fans who cited a general lack of closure along with lore contradictions, as well as character and narrative inconsistencies. While we feel that our ending of Trenches season 2 was sufficient, we have decided to release an extended cut consisting of a few more comic strips. These will begin this Thursday and while we do not expect them to satisfy all Trenches fans, they should add value for those that appreciate it.

-Gabe out

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The Queue
Posted by News Fetcher on November 05 '12 at 10:45 AM
By Tycho from Penny Arcade:
This is what is known internally as a “form” - internally being Gabriel and I, I doubt it’s in wide use elsewhere. This is the “henchman” form, and there are many examples of it in the archive. It’s simply too much fun to stretch a comic over this particular frame. It’s a demographic with a ton of unrecognized problems.
Gabriel gets about ten hours into an Assassin’s Creed, any one except the first one, and he feels like he’s gotten his money’s worth. Multiplayer, also known as electronical Hide And Seek, might account for a few more. By that time he’s typically worked through the bulk of the “art” which is his primary reward structure. I’m motivated more by slow-burn sources of inspiration, narrative stuff, which occasionally creates tension but as a generality allows us to accomplish far more in aggregate. It does make me sad on occasion that he can’t derive nourishment from my obviously superior mode of consciousness, because Assassin’s Creed 3 has a lot to say on a broad, broad array of topics. Alas.

This is something all couples must endure.

It’s like Pokemon Black and/or White in that respect, or Spec Ops: The Line, where on occasion it has the temerity to question the fundamentals of your entire enterprise. This is a very strange thing to do to a person, to give them something, or sell them something, and then shame them for taking you up on it; it’s a tremendously modern conceit. It’s interesting, though, especially in AC3, because the cases it makes are incredibly eloquent. Not simply as a result of the period language, which to the modern ear effectively simulates erudition. No. Not always, but perhaps most of the time, it demands that you account for your motivations.
(CW)TB out.
<a>explain to me</a>

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The Queue
Posted by News Fetcher on November 04 '12 at 11:15 PM
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Assassin’s Steed
Posted by News Fetcher on November 01 '12 at 11:15 PM
By Tycho from Penny Arcade:
We have always liked Assassin’s Creed, even when you weren’t supposed to - even everyone agreed it was a no-no. A huge part of that is that we did not make up a game we thought it was, and then scourge it based on how often it diverged from that fantasy. We play them in stages, where Gabriel gets us through the atmosphere and I typically take over because I want to see the story resolve. I’m not sure which part that is within the astronomy metaphor. Let’s say it’s the moon.
Something you’re going to get a lot of use out of in Assassin’s Creed 3 is the Horse Whistle, which is probably self-explanatory, but it might be worth going into. It’s a whistle that calls your horse. It may have some other use I haven’t discovered yet. But when I blow through it, a horse arrives almost as if by magic. Just fucking materializes. At that point you can ride it around, or just straight-up appreciate that motherfucker.
You win. In either case.

The icon for the horse on the minimap is the icon of the Order; there is no distinction made between the horse and, say, a full Assassin. If I as the protagonist were on someone else’s minimap, the icon would be the same as this horse. What that says me to me is that horsassins are absolutely canonical expressions of the setting. It literally explains everything.

I told you that I would never take a job at 343 Industries, because their task was impossible; it’s all the more startling, then, that they managed to accomplish it.
< article continued at Penny Arcade >

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Assassin’s Steed
Posted by News Fetcher on November 01 '12 at 11:15 PM
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Your Cosplay Headquarters
Posted by News Fetcher on October 31 '12 at 11:00 AM
By Tycho from Penny Arcade:
I know that it’s supposed to be out, or out soon, but even even from my thrumming media roost I couldn’t tell you with one hundred percent certainty whether or not Windows 8 has actually been released. There isn’t a single copy of it installed anywhere in the office, and we’re all massive dorks. No doubt I’ll come into contact with one of its cilia at some point - Smart Glass, or something - but I don’t upgrade software just to upgrade it anymore. Hardware’s another story. But all my shit works, finally, and the computer is completely ascendant in my house as a
leisure-time vessel.
Time was that the “fucking with” portion was the metagame which contained the other games within it. What’s weird is that I still love to fix other people’s shit, can’t get enough of that. When I hear the wheeze of an ailing hard disc, it stirs something deep in my jeans. Unless it’s my own hard disc, in which case I want to kick/broil/submerge/freeze/pulverize.
I don’t know all people on the Earth, but the ones I do know are either completely neutral on the idea of a Windows 8 or are slightly disturbed by it. I never bought OS updates for the Mac when I was a Mac person, either, so maybe I’m just not hungry for what they’ve got on the hook. I don’t know who that is; the person with a functional thing who wants to enter into a period of uncertainty entirely of their own accord.
< article continued at Penny Arcade >

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Your Cosplay Headquarters
Posted by News Fetcher on October 30 '12 at 11:15 PM
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Appetite
Posted by News Fetcher on October 29 '12 at 10:30 AM
By Tycho from Penny Arcade:
This comic is a word for word translation; that’s what makes it acceptable for us to reference Human Centipede two years out of phase. Technically speaking, Scott should be in there somewhere - it occurred while we were writing The Trenches. He’d told us about the absolutely vital South Park documentary 6 Days To Air, which is what started us down that path.

I do like horror movies, though, but my affection (generally speaking) is not indexed to their outlandish sexuality. Probably. I think.
It would surprise me very much if horror movies weren’t endlessly granulated by their true adherents, in the manner of the audiophile, so even as an enthusiast I’m probably not equipped to discuss it on the Internet. But if we pull the camera out a little bit, there’s evidence that Horror occupies a space similar to Role-Playing mechanics in that it is basically everywhere, in everything now because it adds an interesting texture to other types of stories.
If you have Netflix - that is to say, if Netflix exists where you are, because if it does you probably have it - you have access to such a treasure trove of horror you seriously have no idea. Brenna’s not going to watch a horror movie, so if something like that is gonna get watched its gonna have to seep in at the borders via a channel of maximum convenience and instant stoppability. I mentioned the hybridization before because I don’t even know if my favorite “horror” movies are even horror movies. They’re horrifying, though; is that sufficient? I usually want my exposed organs suspended in some kind of narrative which can amplify slash elevate the base and animal fear.
< article continued at Penny Arcade >

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Another awesome song
Posted by News Fetcher on October 29 '12 at 10:00 AM
By Gabe from Penny Arcade:
It seems that my job now is just to post awesome songs created by our readers and based on stuff we make.

Today I have a haunting ballad performed by PA reader Rachel. She was inspired by our Daughters of the Eyrewood material and made up this awesome song.



It is full of awesome lyrics and really captures the theme of the Daughters in my opinion. They are taken into the woods at a very young age and taught strange magic. It is the job of the Lookouts to cut out a place in the Eyrewood for humans to live. If forced to choose the Lookouts will always pick humans over the wood. What makes Daughters scary is that more often than not they would choose the wood.

Oh and Rachel, your line in the song “mercy never grew on trees”? Yeah we are totes stealing that shit.

-Gabe out

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Appetite
Posted by News Fetcher on October 28 '12 at 11:15 PM
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Harry Potter and the Forbidden journey
Posted by News Fetcher on October 26 '12 at 09:45 AM
By Gabe from Penny Arcade:
When we arrived at Harry Potter world for the first time our little group made a beeline for Hogwarts in an effort to be the first on the Harry Potter and the Forbidden Journey ride. I was pulled along with them even though I don’t actually go on many rides. Erika shouted at us not to stop as we ran past Ollivander’s wand shop. None of us had ever been before and so we were all floored by Hogwarts. The line for the ride winds through the castle but it’s so cool that there is a separate line for people who just want to see the castle but not go on the ride. This is what I should have done.

We passed multiple signs all warning about motion sickness and people with heart conditions. I expressed my concern to the group but was assured that if I could do Star Tours I could handle this ride. It’s true that I can do Star Tours but I would say that it is on the ragged edge of my ability. If it wasn’t Star Wars there is no way I would subject myself to it. Let me tell you right now that Harry Potter and the Forbidden Journey isn’t a goddamned thing like Star Tours. Star Tours might as well be one of those rocking cars you put a quarter in at the grocery store compared to Harry Potter. Within the first 5 seconds of Harry Potter I knew I was in trouble.

Right off the bat you are suspended in front of a massive screen that makes you feel like you are hurtling over Hogwarts on a broomstick. I felt sick immediately. I closed my eyes hoping that if I wasn’t watching the screen I could limit the motion sickness. I started taking deep breaths and tried to focus on keeping my breakfast south of my esophagus. As the chair I was in rocked and spun I began to realize I was fighting a losing battle. At one point I was blasted by an incredible heat and smelled sulfur. This did not help matters. The girls on either side of me screamed and I was later told that it was a dragon. Awesome.

< article continued at Penny Arcade >

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Vomifuge
Posted by News Fetcher on October 26 '12 at 09:45 AM
By Tycho from Penny Arcade:
The Harry Potter shit at Universal Studios is off the hook, I am told. It is, among other things, the place where viral wand videos are produced. There is also a “broom ride,” which takes place in some kind of projected dome, whose potpourri of stimuli can ask hard questions of your equilibrium. These hard questions can have, as their answer, an eruption of whole milk and Fruit Loop paste with considerable force and range.
You might have heard that PAX Australia had been announced, and that it takes place on on July 19-21, specifically in Melbourne, which is apparently pronounced “Mel’Bin.” It’s cool, I got this.

People have asked us questions about the show, and I know the answers. If you are wondering who all from Penny Arcade is going, we are all going. Even my mom is fucking going; we’re gonna do it up big. It’s been in the works for about a year now, and as far as what kind of show we intend to bring, we intend to bring PAX. Concerts, Exhibition, Indie visibility, a custom Omegathon, all of it. We’re bringing this:




< article continued at Penny Arcade >

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Vomifuge
Posted by News Fetcher on October 25 '12 at 11:15 PM
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Open Mic Night
Posted by News Fetcher on October 25 '12 at 09:45 AM
By Gabe from Penny Arcade:
I got an email this morning pointing me towards a very cool Reddit thread. It seems Reddit user shmallowfish went ahead and recorded his own interpretation of a comic we made back in 2006. In the Open Mic Night strip Tycho plays a folksy ballad about DLC. Check out this take on it set to the tune of Bastion’s “The Pantheon (Ain’t Gonna Catch You)”



-Gabe out

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Rainslick Precipice 3 On iOS, Mac, And Most Android Devices
Posted by News Fetcher on October 25 '12 at 09:45 AM
By Tycho from Penny Arcade:
It’s three bucks for mobile, five bucks for Mac, and here’s where you get it:

iOS

Mac App Store

Most Android Devices (trying to add more)

All versions should get the brutal and, frankly, mean spirited bonus dungeon “Lair Of The Seamstress” today also. Steam support for Mac is coming soon, soon, soon.
(CW)TB

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