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PAX East Q&A
Posted by News Fetcher on April 17 '12 at 03:30 PM
By Gabe from Penny Arcade:
we had some great panels this year at PAX East. I always enjoy our Q&A’s because they are such a rush. Going on stage in front of four thousand people with no idea what you’re going to talk about for the next hour is fucking wild. If you could see me backstage before the curtain opens you’d see me jumping up and down with nervous excitement. Our final Q&A of the show on Sunday was truly special. If you’d like to see me cry on stage you can watch it right here. You’ll need to push forward to the 4:05:48 mark to get to the beginning of our panel. I will honestly never forget some of the stories from this panel.

-Gabe out

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Narrative
Posted by News Fetcher on April 16 '12 at 10:30 AM
By Tycho from Penny Arcade:
Even if it is your job to like games, it is entirely possible to miss them because as a result of time’s specific and intractable properties. For example, and there’s a nontrivial shame factor involved in this announcement, I just started playing Dungeon Raid. It’s almost a year old. It looks like Match 3, but it’s not exactly; it’s like a four dimensional slot machine crossed with the Lament Configuration. Gabriel discovered it in the grip of a terrible fever; I can only imagine how its themes of subterranean terror must be enhanced.

We’ve also been playing Ticket To Ride, another ancient remnant, though at least we are indulging in its digital iteration. I own the actual game, specifically the Marklin edition, but the benefits of owning the digital version are pretty vast. These benefits are compounded when a friend of yours also owns it, and you are hurtling through the frigid air in the middle of the night on your way home. I would never rob you of an opportunity to learn the game for yourself, but the application of what are sometimes called dick trains to ambitious routes by interlopers, villains, and scalawags is a practice you will become deeply familiar with.
Tribes Ascend is a thing you can download now, and play, as opposed to a thing you can hear about from other people. And its sudden reality has given me a lot to think about.

< article continued at Penny Arcade >

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Narrative
Posted by News Fetcher on April 15 '12 at 11:15 PM
From Penny Arcade:


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Kickstarter For Wargame Terrain
Posted by News Fetcher on April 13 '12 at 01:00 PM
By Tycho from Penny Arcade:
I was talking to Keek and Mike about a dude I’d met at PAX in the tabletop room, while he was painting some terrain he’d brought. I recognized it (and him, actually) from Kickstarter immediately, and I wished him success. I was telling them about it under the presumption that the Kickstarter was already over, because I’d seen it a long time ago. It’s not over, it turns out - there’s about eighteen hours left on it, which means you can get some pretty amazing buys on a bunch of really sharp accessories were you so inclined.

(CW)TB

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Lickr
Posted by News Fetcher on April 12 '12 at 11:15 PM
By Tycho from Penny Arcade:
I’m not on excellent terms with my body, but if I stay moderately clean and flood my sinus cavity with jets of warm saline it is generally able to withstand illness. Not so for my collaborator, whose earthly form is now being converted entirely into mucus.
He is the one who invented the Iron Guard Position, a ritual designed to provide a bulwark against plague, but it can be very difficult to maintain this policy in an actual social situation. There is something screwed deep down into me that recoils against refusing a gift freely offered, even if that gift is a person’s living hand, perhaps especially then. There’s also the fact that I literally upload .jpegs for a living, and I can only do that because the person extending their hand to me likes some percentage of the .jpegs I upload. Turning it down seems churlish; I don’t know. Touching people is definitively unsafe and obviously this is how Rome ended but I feel like raw pragmatism doesn’t have the answer here.

< article continued at Penny Arcade >

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Lickr
Posted by News Fetcher on April 12 '12 at 11:15 PM
From Penny Arcade:


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The Snip Within
Posted by News Fetcher on April 11 '12 at 10:00 AM
By Tycho from Penny Arcade:
Being old is weird, and I don’t like it necessarily, but I’d still take it over being young. Both axis are laden with intractable bullshit, but in the latter half of your life people at can least recognize your fundamental humanity.
When you are getting older people start to talk to you about whether or not you should let a complete stranger sever your inner dong. You would think the answer to this would be “no, don’t do that,” but it comes up and gets seriously entertained while I shift uncomfortably in the seat. This shit keeps happening, these Big Questions about what it means to have a transient body long-term, and I’ve reached the point chronologically where my youthful invincibility has begun to flash, on and off, on and off, announcing its terrifying culmination. The Dentist told me that if I was careful and really worked at it, I could keep these teeth for the rest of my life. I didn’t really know what to say to that, except “Good” and “Yay, teeth!”

I’m home now, but I am constantly batting at phantom memories that rise unbidden. Isn’t that just like a phantom memory? They’re always doing shit like that.

< article continued at Penny Arcade >

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The Snip Within
Posted by News Fetcher on April 10 '12 at 11:15 PM
From Penny Arcade:


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My Big PAX Post
Posted by News Fetcher on April 10 '12 at 09:45 AM
By Gabe from Penny Arcade:
Well we’ve put another incredible PAX to bed. I’ve been asked to comment on a few of the stories that came out of the show this year. It seems that after three days of games, music and community what people people keep asking me about is the guy who took off his pants, and boobs. I’ll go ahead and give you my take on both of those but first I want to talk about the other story that is making the rounds. That being our trolling of Paul Christoforo.

THE PRANK

You might remember Paul as the guy from Ocean Marketing who self destructed on the internet a few months ago. What you might not know is that in the intervening months Paul has continued to harass me and PA via his twitter. He claimed that he would be coming to the show, regardless of the fact that he was banned. He threatened us and said he would be at PAX East in disguise. When the show finally arrived he began posting photos from the floor claiming he was here and that he took the pics himself. The only problem with that is that his phone was also tweeting his location…which happened to be in California.

On Saturday Paul befriended a con goer from his hometown on twitter. What Paul did not know is that this guy, along with growing up in the same town Paul did, was also a security guard at the PAX convention center. This guard is a huge gamer and he immediately came to us after starting up this conversation with Paul. First we attempted to set up a meeting here in Boston but obviously Paul said he couldn’t do it. Then Mr. Christoforo asked his new best friend to send him some photos from the show floor. We took the pictures ourselves but before we sent them to Paul Robert created a new Twitter account and uploaded all the pics.

< article continued at Penny Arcade >

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Hermetically Yours
Posted by News Fetcher on April 09 '12 at 07:00 AM
By Tycho from Penny Arcade:
PAX dreams are incredibly weird.  The one I just emerged from proposed that Achievements existed somewhere in the actual world, and they were like edible clocks.  I can’t really put that one together, but it’s alright; this is that organ’s job, to contextualize life in a mythic way.  If previous shows are any indication, this process is just beginning.

The strip from the Make A Strip panel is here offered for your amusement, with audience-derived modifications firmly installed.
The show has initiated its process of perpetual unfolding, and I’m trying to seize URLs as they pass by in an effort to catalog the last three days: Dyad, an incredibly restless combination of Rez and Tempest which is uncontent to stop there, is something I came back to multiple times. I actually ran a demo for people one time when the developer happened to be away, such was my investment.  He was right next to They Bleed Pixels, a wicked little gem of an action/platformer with a rock-solid theme and unrelenting gameplay.  And they were right next to Awesomenauts, a 3v3 take on the League of Legends/MOBA thing done entirely as a sidescroller.  I did not get it at first, and then five minutes later I did get it; that was when its tiny fangs punctured the skin.  

< article continued at Penny Arcade >

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Hermetically Yours
Posted by News Fetcher on April 09 '12 at 12:15 AM
From Penny Arcade:


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Reunification
Posted by News Fetcher on April 06 '12 at 05:15 AM
By Tycho from Penny Arcade:
It’s true;  Gabriel has returned to the fold.  He actively prefers almost everything about the Windows Phone he had - it has the cohesion he feels is missing from Android, and the “active tiles” or whatever those things are on the start screen can reveal data without having to drill down every time, which the iPhone’s app-centric user experience demands.  

At the end of the day, though, he couldn’t do without the ecosystem that surrounds the Apple product.  He’d purchased the new iPad to act as a kind of App steam valve, and the breadth he saw on there (after a year away) startled him.  He woke, then, as though from a dark dream.  

We have a League of Legends project going up today, which you can see here.  They wanted to know if we were interested in putting something together for a Champion a couple months ago, and we said YES.  The timing didn’t work out for Lulu, which we would have jumped at; but there was something in the Varus concept art that took root, and we put in our request.    

< article continued at Penny Arcade >

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Reunification
Posted by News Fetcher on April 05 '12 at 11:15 PM
From Penny Arcade:


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Dereliction
Posted by News Fetcher on April 04 '12 at 10:15 PM
By Tycho from Penny Arcade:
Shit is complex at Chez Gabriel, and in a rare twist, it isn’t the direct result of his own malformed behavior. Star Wars Kinect, which was generally expected to be a bucket of mouth-temperature filth and may even be that, has its claws deep into his son.
I believe I have mentioned it, but just in case, there is a substantial portion of Gabriel’s mind which believes that the Kinect - and, to a similar extent, the vanilla Wiimote - have no actual function. This moist lobe of his knows at some level that nothing he does matters to what are almost certainly empty plastic shells, and a result, he doesn’t feel any particular need to perform for them. In fact, he feels put out by the whole thing. He has expectations re: how long it should take a device to register his commands, and the accuracy with which those commands should be rendered once the device finally gets around to it.
We were at Microsoft for something like ten years ago, and they had an elaborate structure that implored cafeteria customers to separate their leavings into five distinct waste strata. In his mind, all five apertures emptied into the same bin, the resultant slurry removed under cover of darkness. We’re from Spokane, where the only recycling that is performed with any regularity is on the souls of the damn’d in the belly of the towering Hell Furnace. Even given that, Gabriel has taken a crazy assertion and run with it all the way to a metaphorical end zone. His peculiar melange of creativity, paranoia, and incision make him a truly unique specimen. The world’s hideous undercurrents are always known to him, whether they exist or not. It’s like being friends with Philip K. Dick.
< article continued at Penny Arcade >

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On The Rain-Slick Precipice Of Darkness: Episode 3
Posted by News Fetcher on April 04 '12 at 12:15 AM
By Tycho from Penny Arcade:
The Precipice is so moist you guys it’s crazy! It’s treacherous for real - and there’s a precipitous drop.

You can shuffle along the Precipice I am referring to this very weekend in the PAX Exhibition Hall, booth 678. Or, if you aren’t attending the show, you’re welcome to check out a few screens, information, and the (now spoileriffic) Episode 3 Chapters at the brand new site. We went with rainslickgame.com as the URL, which seemed to communicate the basic idea. It’s essentially a three-man operation, the guys from Zeboyd “game making” and me banging on text, super low to the ground. I had a lot of fun writing the demo, and I’m excited for people to try it. If it has been your fantasy to open up a time capsule and find a perfectly preserved RPG waiting inside, that’s very much Zeboyd’s thing. I’m incredibly glad they exist. I’m incredibly glad people urged us to contact them, and I am glad a third time to have an opportunity to play Dungeon Master for you again.
(CW)TB

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Dereliction
Posted by News Fetcher on April 03 '12 at 11:15 PM
From Penny Arcade:


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Star Wars Kinect
Posted by News Fetcher on April 03 '12 at 09:15 AM
By Gabe from Penny Arcade:
Star Wars Kinect is a real shitfest. Unless you happen to be a seven year old.



That’s my son playing it there. He’s swinging one of his own plastic Lightsabers which he says makes the game even better. He loves the Jedi Destiny mode which has you jumping and swinging your way through a Padawan adventure.

We tried the other game modes on the disc including the dance game and he was confused. “Why would they put dancing in Star Wars? Why wouldn’t you just play Dance Central?” he asked me. These are excellent questions that I did not have good answers for. He thought the Pod Racing was boring and I have to agree with him.

I gave it a shot myself and like most of my Kinect experiences I hated it. It will occasionally perhaps accidentally work the way it is intended for a split second and you will experience something very near fun. The rest of the time you’re just jumping around like an idiot trying to make the fucking thing do what you want. When it isn’t outright frustrating it’s just stupid and boring.

Unless as I said earlier, you are seven years old and you just need an opportunity to jump around in front of a TV while swinging a Lightsaber.

Maybe that’s the Kinect’s real demographic. People who don’t know any better.

-Gabe out

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Perhaps Too Real
Posted by News Fetcher on April 02 '12 at 09:30 AM
By Tycho from Penny Arcade:
Is it safe to come out? Have people stopped fucking around with everybody? Alright. Let’s go.

It is a problem I did not know about, and probably never would have fully understood it, but your Internet looks really bad on the new iPad. Kiko shuffled in here a week ago, looked at one of our advanced tabloids, and wrinkled his nose. It was as though he could somehow smell the jpeg artifacts. He gave it back by holding it at the extreme reach of his arm, eyes closed, breath held, head turned sharply away.

I do not have that problem.

It’s like with anything: I primarily look at text, which is sharp for real. But the future will not wait, and to that end we have begun creating images that manifest an almost terrifying excellence.
My sister was in town last weekend, and since I am the only person in this family who is on speaking terms with technology, she wanted to know what kind of computer she should get. Her old one is old. It has become recalcitrant. It cannot or will not web as it once did. It was a very strange conversation, because it’s becoming very clear that for ninety-five percent of usage cases NOBODY needs a computer. She could just as easily have asked me what kind of Anvil she should get.
< article continued at Penny Arcade >

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Perhaps Too Real
Posted by News Fetcher on April 02 '12 at 07:15 AM
From Penny Arcade:


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Penny Arcade Television
Posted by News Fetcher on March 30 '12 at 03:15 PM
By Tycho from Penny Arcade:
I haven’t been able to keep up with PATV because I’ve been writing… something, and when I have to write and write I sort of fall off the planet. Maybe we can both catch up.

For example, and this is super shameful, I haven’t seen the last Blamimation OR the last Kris and Scott’s Scott and Kris show. I haven’t even seen the last episodes of my own show! There are two 4th Panels, one for Multiplicity and one for Configuration, the strips for which can be found here</> and <a href="http://penny-arcade.com/comic/2012/03/05">here. There’s also an episode about PA Design, which is what Erika and Kiko call it whenever they do things. Oh! And there’s a 4th Panel today, based on Wednesday’s comic! That’s how bad I am at this.
The only things I did catch were Extra Credits (Transgaming, an ongoing meditation on Western and Japanese RPGs) and Checkpoint, which were great like always.
(CW)TB

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